Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
Nowadays, there are several environmental issues. It is acknowledged by certain individuals that the main problem is losing specific genes of plants and animals. There is an opposite argument,
however
, saying that there are more critical problems than that. This
essay will thoroughly discuss both perspectives and
Decreasing the number of certain species of vegetation and animals has provided the primary environmental problem. To begin
, this
can be seen when the soils are not suitable for plants to grow. An example of this
is,
the research that says that the tendency of the number of Eucalyptus trees on the Mountain Tilis will decrease reclined 50% within five years. Remove the comma
apply
This
is because of the heat wave. Another report from CBC News says that there is a huge loss of the moose in Jasper National Park from the wildfire as well.
However
, some individuals believe that there are more important concerns. such
as the lack of water and the rapidity of high temperatures should are the top environmental problems. Firstly
, the lack of a source of water has an enormous impact on all living things such
as humans, animals and plants. Moreover
, the effect of the environment is people passing away from heat waves. In 2020, the high heat will take away 500 senior citizens in British Columbia, Vancouver. This
brings awareness of environmental problems.
In conclusion, even though the loss of particular species of plant and animal life can be considered a vital point of the climate, however
, In my opinion, there are more fundamental issues like drought and heatwaves that affect all life in the world which ought to be a main serious issue.Submitted by suthapuch1202 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
While the essay addresses the topic and presents arguments from both sides, it would benefit from a clearer thesis statement in the introduction and a more detailed conclusion. Consider explicitly stating your main argument in the introduction and summarizing both perspectives more comprehensively in the conclusion.
coherence
Maintain clarity and coherence by ensuring that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. Improve transitions between paragraphs to enhance the logical flow of the essay. For example, use transitional phrases like 'On the other hand', 'In addition', 'Furthermore', etc., to create smoother shifts between ideas.
clarity
Some sentences can be revised for clearer understanding, e.g., 'the main problem is losing specific genes of plants and animals.' It would be more accurate to say, 'the main problem is the loss of specific species of plants and animals.'
coherence
The essay is well-organized into paragraphs, each dealing with distinct ideas, which helps in understanding the argumentation.
task achievement
The writer has included relevant examples and statistical data to reinforce the arguments, adding credibility to the points discussed.
task achievement
The topic is well-addressed, and the writer confines the discussion to essential points without deviating from the main issue.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?