Nowadays many people wear western clothes rather than their traditional clothes. What are the reasons for it? Is it a positive or negative development?

In the era of pioneering, new fashion lines have been manifested.
Thus
, a diverse range of individuals obtain trending
clothes
instead
of their traditional
clothes
. In
this
essay, I will illustrate the causes. I will
also
elaborate on whether the pros overshadow the cons. To commence with, there are a lot of
clothes
that have been shined recently. everyone is trying to obtain it.
Moreover
, people are going in
line
with their celebrities and trying to copy them. They believe that in
this
way they show loyalty to these celebrities. One of the sparked instances is the Nike Air Jordan
line
.
This
line
went viral and all around the world are purchasing it until now.
In addition
, foreign wear is vibrant in colours and more cozy.
For instance
, In the Middle East, they wear a traditional cloth called dishdasha. It only came in two colours black and white.
Thus
, the citizens do not have the option to change the colour albeit it will seem weird.
Furthermore
, It is a negative development.
Firstly
, over time it will ruin our basis by alleviating the usage of these
clothes
.
Hence
, the next generation will not be aware of their ancestors'
clothes
.
Secondly
, a wide variety of lines are using animal skins and killing a lot of them.
This
can ruin the environment and can eradicate a lot of animal chains.
For example
, some brands like Zara are using
tiger's
Change noun form
tiger
show examples
and
alligators'
Fix the agreement mistake
alligator'
show examples
skins to fabricate bags and coats.
As a result
, the number of these animals was mitigated.
Lastly
, some of these
clothes
are overpriced and it will impose more burdens on the people. In conclusion, the government should play a critical role in these
line
factories. It should impose penalties and strict regulations. Individuals should inform their kids about their basis and what were they wearing in the past. They
also
make them free to opt for what will suit them.
Submitted by mohannadsme on

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coherence cohesion
The essay introduces the topic and provides a conclusion, but some ideas are not fully developed, affecting the logical flow. Aim to structure paragraphs more clearly by using topic sentences and ensuring each paragraph explores one main idea.
task achievement
Your essay covers the causes and discusses the positive or negative development, hence addressing the task. However, try to provide more specific examples and detailed explanations to strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
For a clearer presentation of ideas, consider refining your explanations and linking sentences. Make sure each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next, enhancing the overall coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
You have successfully addressed the essay prompt by discussing both the causes and impacts of people wearing Western clothes instead of traditional ones.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your discussion effectively.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Globalization
  • cultural exchange
  • modernity
  • versatility
  • practicality
  • Western media
  • fashion industry
  • widespread adoption
  • professional settings
  • preservation
  • cultural diversity
  • cultural integration
  • cross-cultural understanding
  • unique cultural identities
  • expression of individuality
  • innovative
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