Task 2: Some people think that the modern communication technology is having a negative effect on a social relationships. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that digital communication technology has an adverse impact on social relationships.
However
, I completely agree with this
perspective for two reasons.
One of the most rationales for this
trend is the fast development of cutting-edge technology in modern life. This
is because digital tools which have various functions such
as built-in cameras, and interactive games make humans indispensable and isolated from society. This
is the case for a group of friends hanging out shopping but interfering with their smartphones all the time or parents and children instead
of interacting with each other after a working day, they use phones every night. This
leads to the lack of intimacy of friends, and families and may drift apart if it happens in the long term. Additionally
, it is difficult to get a trustful relationship online. Given that there are a lot of crimes who having many methods to scam people online, it causes them to narrow their communication gap unable to make close-knit friends online.
Another reason why it affects relationships is that it can easily cause some conflicts in social networks. It is intricate to describe behaviours and opinions through texts, making it more misunderstood for the population to understand. If individuals don’t talk carefully, it can result in some unnecessary arguments which leads to cyberbullying especially among school children. This
can be proven by victims bullying others online by posting false information about kids being bullied. This
affects not only the relationship between students but also
the mental health and reputation of bullied students.
In conclusion, the effect of multifunctional communication devices is a matter of concern for many public. From my perspective, this
brings many disadvantages for users including isolated people and unimportant conflicts, so the community should limit the hours of use and favour face-to-face interactions to decrease these drawbacks.Submitted by phamnhung275 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Improve clarity and coherence by ensuring every sentence contributes directly to your argument. Try to avoid overly complex sentences that may confuse the reader.
coherence cohesion
Proofread your work to catch minor errors and enhance the precision of your language. This will help in achieving greater clarity and coherence.
task achievement
Ensure examples are not only relevant but also fully integrated into the arguments being made. This will help in providing a more comprehensive and convincing argument.
task achievement
The essay effectively covers the required points and provides relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear, concise, and well-linked to the main arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the topic and maintains a logical structure throughout.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite