Task 2: Some people think that the modern communication technology is having a negative effect on a social relationships. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #communication #technology #effect #relationships

It is argued that digital communication technology has an adverse impact on social relationships.

However

, I completely agree with

this

perspective for two reasons. One of the most rationales for

this

trend is the fast development of cutting-edge technology in modern life.

This

is because digital tools which have various functions

such

as built-in cameras, and interactive games make humans indispensable and isolated from society.

This

is the case for a group of friends hanging out shopping but interfering with their smartphones all the time or parents and children

instead

of interacting with each other after a working day, they use phones every night.

This

leads to the lack of intimacy of friends, and families and may drift apart if it happens in the long term.

Additionally

, it is difficult to get a trustful relationship online. Given that there are a lot of crimes who having many methods to scam people online, it causes them to narrow their communication gap unable to make close-knit friends online. Another reason why it affects relationships is that it can easily cause some conflicts in social networks. It is intricate to describe behaviours and opinions through texts, making it more misunderstood for the population to understand. If individuals don’t talk carefully, it can result in some unnecessary arguments which leads to cyberbullying especially among school children.

This

can be proven by victims bullying others online by posting false information about kids being bullied.

This

affects not only the relationship between students but

also

the mental health and reputation of bullied students. In conclusion, the effect of multifunctional communication devices is a matter of concern for many public. From my perspective,

this

brings many disadvantages for users including isolated people and unimportant conflicts, so the community should limit the hours of use and favour face-to-face interactions to decrease these drawbacks.

Submitted by phamnhung275 on Sun Jul 28 2024

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coherence cohesion

Improve clarity and coherence by ensuring every sentence contributes directly to your argument. Try to avoid overly complex sentences that may confuse the reader.

coherence cohesion

Proofread your work to catch minor errors and enhance the precision of your language. This will help in achieving greater clarity and coherence.

task achievement

Ensure examples are not only relevant but also fully integrated into the arguments being made. This will help in providing a more comprehensive and convincing argument.

task achievement

The essay effectively covers the required points and provides relevant examples.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are clear, concise, and well-linked to the main arguments.

coherence cohesion

The essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the topic and maintains a logical structure throughout.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

305 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

face-to-face interactions
superficial relationships
meaningful conversations
notifications
long-distance relationships
online communities
social networks
social anxiety
digital communication
real-world interactions
over-reliance
detrimental effect
inhibit
deep social connections
distract

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Task 2: Some people think that the modern communication technology is having a negative effect on a social relationships. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

It is important for all the cities and towns to have large outdoor public spaces, such as parks or squares. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people think that cities are the best places to live. Others prefer to live in a rural area. Compare the advantages and disadvantages of living in the city to living in the countrysid.

In many countries, it is very easy to apply for and be given a credit card. However, this causes some people to have problems with debts they cannot pay back. Do you think the advantages of credit cards outweigh the disadvantages?