In the past, knowledge was contained in books. Nowadays, knowledge is uploaded to the internet

Nowadays, it is a controversial issue that almost all

information

is stored online rather than in physical books, as it was in the past. From my point of view, the benefits can exceed the drawbacks in the long term.

To begin

with, there are numerous reasons why using online services has more positive aspects.

Initially

, it is remarkably convenient, and you can find them almost everywhere. Because of that, everyone can use these facilities in order to gain new knowledge, or they can utilize them for their personal development.

Furthermore

, if we spread useful

information

very rapidly, people can be informed about it without reading dozens of pages like they used to.

Hence

, one of the primary advantages of exploiting online research engines is that they are universally accessible.

However

, storing

information

online encourages a dependence on computer technology, which has detrimental effects on the human mind. Previously, people who wanted to research a specific topic had to look for several necessary pieces of evidence so as to elaborate their presentation clearly, but

this

process was too time-consuming.

Nonetheless

, finding these testimonies demanded conscientiousness and reading so many academic journals.

For

this

reason, humans in the past had reading habits that we face rarely these days.

In addition

, people should create an environment for themselves to allocate their time to reading books

instead

of wasting countless hours on online gadgets. In a nutshell, we should accomplish that in order to avoid a reduction in healthy habits

such

as reading every day or spending quality time with family. In conclusion,

although

stored

information

has its obvious conveniences, its drawbacks outweigh the ongoing advancements.

Submitted by ieltswritingband99 on Mon Jul 29 2024

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task achievement

To achieve a higher score, consider providing more specific examples to support your points. Examples help in illustrating your arguments more vividly and can make your essay more engaging.

coherence cohesion

Try to improve the logical flow of your essay by ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Use transition words and phrases to guide the reader and to make your logical progression clearer.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which helps to frame your argument well.

task achievement

You present clear and comprehensive ideas throughout the essay, addressing both the advantages and disadvantages of storing information online.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

272 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

democratization, accessibility, socioeconomic barriers, dissemination, real-time, misinformation, misleading, necessitating, over-reliance, traditional knowledge sources, collaborative learning, interactive, engaging educational experience

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In the past, knowledge was contained in books. Nowadays, knowledge is uploaded to the internet

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people say that in all levels of educations, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the amount of money spent on library is a waste as a new technologies are developing and replacing library functions.

Many children have unsupervised access to the internet and are using the internet to socialize with others. This can lead to a number of dangerous situations that can be threatening for children. What problems do children face when going online without parental supervision. How can these be tackled

Schools should stop using books for teaching to learn as they find them boring, and use films, TV, and computers instead. To what extent do you agree with this?

some people think we learn best through in-person interaction with a teacher in a classroom . others believe that online learning is more effective. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion