‘It is always wrong to keep animals in captivity, for instance in zoos’. How far do you share this view?

#‘it #animals #captivity #zoos’

It is widely believed that putting

animals

zoos

is always an inappropriate way to preserve

animals

While

I acknowledge the reasons behind

this

thinking, I am of the opinion that keeping

animals

in a controlled environment is a good approach. In

this

essay, I will provide the reasoning of my standpoint.

To begin

with, one of the primary reasons why

zoos

can effectively preserve

animals

is that they offer a secure and peaceful setting for

animals

, as can be seen in high-quality wildlife parks or reserves. It is recognized that

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

in captivity,

animals

are provided with a safe place in which their survival rate is more promising

due to

its poaching-free and wild-like environment .

Additionally

, another positive point from

zoos

is the conservation system they implement, which concentrates mainly on habitat protection, breeding aid programmes and disease control.

This

all helps to safeguard endangered species and

thus

preserve the global ecosystem for the future benefit of all life forms.

On the other hand

, though, it might be said that

zoos

have

animals

make several behavioural adjustments that may lead to disrupting natural instincts.

However

, I am convinced that

this

drawback can be eliminated by establishing a program that nurtures not only

animals

’ physical aspects but

also

their mental health in order to holistically improve

animals

’ quality of life .

To sum up

, it seems to me that keeping

animals

zoos

is a good conservation method

that is

worth implementing.

This

is owing to the secure place and well-arranged conservation program that the

animals

might get.

Submitted by k a l l a on Mon Jul 29 2024

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task achievement

Your essay could benefit from more specific examples or evidence to support your points. Although your arguments are valid, providing concrete instances or citing research studies can make your viewpoint more persuasive.

coherence cohesion

While your ideas are clearly presented, ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next would further enhance the flow of your essay. Consider using more varied linking words and phrases to achieve better cohesion.

task achievement

Minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasings detract slightly from the clarity of your essay. Proofreading for small mistakes can significantly improve the overall fluency and readability.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which contributes to its logical sequence.

task achievement

You have provided a balanced view by acknowledging the opposing perspective and explaining why you do not fully agree with it, demonstrating critical thinking.

task achievement

Your main points are well-supported with explanations, making your arguments convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

259 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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‘It is always wrong to keep animals in captivity, for instance in zoos’. How far do you share this view?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

in the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people traveling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that environmental problems should be solved on global scale while others believe it is better to deal with them nationally. Discuss bth views and give your opinion.

Some people think that the government should decide the subject for students to study in university. Others believe that students should be allowed to apply for the subject they prefer. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Some people believe the government should spend money on building train and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Others think that building more and wider roads is the better way to reduce traffic congestion. Discuss both views and give your opinion.