Many teenagers now have their own smart phone. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays, a large number of young people have their mobile phones.

While

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phones can improve an individual's knowledge, I believe that using them has negative effects on the user's health. The main advantage of using technologies by youngsters is developing their knowledge. Technological devices allow them to access much information either by reading online books or watching valuable videos.

Also

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, these devices give them the opportunity to speak and practice other languages by using online apps.

For example

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, Audio Books Library is a book app that allows its users to gain new ideas and acquire new languages. Despite

this

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, I believe that

this

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encourages young individuals to watch screens which deteriorates their health. The overuse of technology for an extended period of time means that teenagers do very little exercise.

This

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leads to obesity-related diseases later in life because they become obese.

Also

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, watching screens for a long time affects people's brains and damages their eyesight.

For instance

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, my friend Amal is diagnosed with a deterioration in her memory

due to

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the overwatching of short videos on TikTok.

Therefore

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, I believe that the overconsumption of technology is dangerous and teens should use it in moderation. In conclusion,

although

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mobile ownership by young adults helps them to learn new things, it

also

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makes them addicted to screens which negatively impacts their physical and mental health.

Submitted by sam on Sat Dec 28 2024

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task achievement

Try to provide more balanced examples for both the advantages and disadvantages to strengthen your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a single clear idea which is developed fully and supported with examples.

task achievement

You've included both advantages and disadvantages, which shows a reasoned approach to the topic.

task achievement

Good use of examples to support some of your points, like the mention of Audible Books Library and personal anecdote.

coherence cohesion

The essay is mostly well-organized with clear paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

224 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

communication
access to information
safety and security
entertainment
educational opportunities
addiction
excessive screen time
cyberbullying
online harassment
distraction
lack of focus
privacy concerns
social disconnection
advantages
disadvantages
opinion
outweigh
limits
screen time
online safety

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Many teenagers now have their own smart phone. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this and give your own opinion.

Word Count

High school students should be allowed to study a smaller number of subjects in order to prepare for university

Some argue that music mainly serves as a way for individuals to reduce their stress and anxiety. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that schools should involve students in school management. Do you agree or disagree with this idea? Give reasons for your answer.

Children today spend more time watching television than they did in the past. Describe some of the advantages and disadvantages of television for children.