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Writing Samples
Band 7

Happiness is considered very important in life. Why is it difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness?

#happiness #life #factors
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Undoubtedly, achieving
happiness
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 is the paramount milestone of every human being on earth.
Although
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 it is hard to define true
happiness
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 under certain benchmarks, there are still some generic
steps
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 contributing to the attainment of
happiness
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.
Happiness
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, a subjective feeling of psychology, is difficult to define as the standard of
happiness
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 is distinct among different groups.
For example
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, a bunch of
people
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 consider entering into lasting marriage
happiness
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, suggesting the importance of enduring love relationships. Another group of
people
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 are career goers. They define their
happiness
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 by attaining success in their career path, arriving at the top level in their industry, earning extra pay and gaining privileged socioeconomic benefits.
Overall
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,
happiness
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 is a mental feeling, which can not be measured by quantitative analysis. In my opinion, there are three universal
steps
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 important to achieve
happiness
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.
Firstly
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, maintaining a healthy body is a prerequisite to gaining
happiness
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. Lying on the hospital bed and being tortured by illness keep you away from
happiness
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.
Secondly
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, focusing on the moment and paying full attention
on
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to
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 finishing daily tasks are indispensable. Most
people
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 feel they are unhappy owing to wasting too much time on regretting things back in time and worrying about the future.
Thirdly
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, building a good connection with others by giving help without asking for rewards.
This
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 tactic is necessary to acquire beneficial friendship, which in turn brings us happy feelings. All three generic
steps
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 aim to help
people
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 maintain physical health and mental health, two important features for attaining
happiness
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. In conclusion,
happiness
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 is an undefined attribute in human lives but there are some generic
steps
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 for us to achieve
happiness
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.
Submitted by erminelyu on

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Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance your essay further, consider including more varied sentence structures and cohesive devices to link ideas more smoothly. This will improve the flow and readability of your essay.
Task Achievement
For a more complete response to the task, elaborate more on the second question about the factors important in achieving happiness. Provide illustrative examples to support each factor, which will add depth to your analysis.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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