In some areas of the US, a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adilt. What is your opinion about this?
Several states in the US
has
imposed Correct subject-verb agreement
have
curfew
that limit Fix the agreement mistake
curfews
teenagers
to go
out without the presence of Change preposition
from going
any
adultCorrect determiner usage
an
related
. People have Verb problem
apply
given
a specific curfew Add a missing verb
been given
time
for their own security. This
is due to
increasing
rate of crimes related to Add an article
the increasing
an increasing
teenagers
roaming somewhere at night.
I believe that this
idea will be helpful in minimizing crimes not just to teenagers
but to the entire population. This
will avoid
innocent Verb problem
prevent
one
from any hateful actions that the criminals are planning to kill or hurt. In the state of Florida,Correct pronoun usage
ones
,
Change the punctuation
apply
due to
successful
implementation of Correct article usage
the successful
curfew
, they recorded 0% of crimes. If Correct article usage
a curfew
this
rule is helpful to this
state, then
it will also
serves
as a role model to other states as well.
Change the verb form
serve
Also
, it will give teenagers
a
more Correct article usage
apply
time
to utilize in studying and for homeworks
. Correct your spelling
homework
Instead
of going somewhere, the time
that is
prohibited for going outdoor
, Replace the word
outdoors
it
can be utilized for finishing their studies, Correct pronoun usage
apply
learn
more, and having a good performance in school. It will increase the number of educated people in a state.
Wrong verb form
learning
Lastly
, it will create and form a quality time
for each family. Since,
children in a family are forced to stay at home, it will Remove the comma
apply
able
these young people to connect with other family members. It will improve each unit of the community and Verb problem
enable
helps
improve each relationship.
To summarize, Correct subject-verb agreement
help
this
concept of securing teenagers
provides many positive effects to
everyone. It improves family Change preposition
on
relationship
, Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
eradicate
criminals and Change the verb form
eradicates
enhance
student's school performance.Correct subject-verb agreement
enhances
Submitted by dhowardjacob on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
The main points in your essay were clear and relevant, but further development and examples would strengthen your arguments. Providing more specific evidence or data could help achieve this.
coherence cohesion
Ensure consistency in terms of punctuation and word choice. For instance, watch for double commas as in 'Florida,,'.
coherence cohesion
Try to avoid repetition by using synonyms or varying your sentence structures. This will make your essay more engaging and coherent.
task achievement
You have presented a clear and straightforward opinion on the topic, which shows a good understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are effectively written and provide a good structure to the essay.
coherence cohesion
You did a good job linking your points to the overall argument, maintaining a logical flow throughout the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS
Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!