Some people think that sports involving violence, such as boxing and martial arts, should be banned from TV as well as from international sporting competitions. To what extent do you agree?h

#people #sports #violence #arts #tv #competitions #h

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The violence become widespread in many parts of the world, Thu a lot of people think that the main reason is international sport of martial

arts

Use synonyms

. I partially agree with

this

Linking Words

view, especially among children.

Change preposition

This

show examples

this

Linking Words

essay will debate the side effects of material

arts

Use synonyms

adding, the advantages.

To begin

Linking Words

with boxing sports on TV, and the impacted domain on children. A child has underlying energy,

fortheremore

Correct your spelling

furthermore

they are doing any action to dispose

from

Change the preposition

show examples

their power. In

Add a comma

additional,

show examples

additional

Replace the word

addition

show examples

they do not have an integral awareness to

cotrol

Correct your spelling

control

their reaction and differentiate the truth from the error, so they conflict who are weaker than them.

For instance

Linking Words

, some young

make

Verb problem

people conduct

show examples

surveys

Change preposition

show examples

Iraqi schools and the result of

this

Linking Words

statistic, the bad boys used to watch boxing sport on TV.

Moreover

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

sport undergoes the players for psychological impact, adding the body hurt.

However

Linking Words

, we cannot

forgit

Correct your spelling

forget

the

Correct determiner usage

that

show examples

martial

arts

Use synonyms

Add a missing verb

is considere

show examples

considere

Correct your spelling

considered

consider

the most significant method to learn

protect

Fix the infinitive

to protect

show examples

yourself and conflict

the

Change preposition

with the

show examples

aims

especially

Add the comma(s)

, especially

show examples

for girls.

For example

Linking Words

, when solely girl travels and undergoes for

fight

Add an article

a fight

the fight

show examples

, in

this

Linking Words

moment should

encaounter

Correct your spelling

encounter

and save herself and save herself.

Finally

Linking Words

, from my perspective,

although

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

boxing and

fight

Replace the word

fighting

show examples

sports are important and apparent

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

special

skill

Fix the agreement mistake

skills

show examples

for

smoe

Correct your spelling

some

people, and there are

Correct determiner usage

those whom

show examples

whom

Change the pronoun

who

show examples

following

Wrong verb form

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

, I prefer to relay these

art

Fix the agreement mistake

arts

show examples

as a way to save yourself not for playing and

display

Wrong verb form

displaying

show examples

Add an article

the TV

a TV

show examples

screen.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, make fight

arts

Use synonyms

like a lesson and taught in the school, else establish institutes for

Add an article

the same

show examples

same

Correct your spelling

some

show examples

reason to create a strong generation

Submitted by sajdeenkhalaf on Mon Jul 29 2024

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introduction

Your essay has a clear structure, but there are some areas that need improvement. Ensure your introduction clearly states your position. The current introduction lacks clarity and needs to better outline what the essay will cover.

paragraphs

Ensure that each paragraph has one clear main idea and that this idea is well-supported with relevant examples and explanations. Some paragraphs include multiple ideas which disrupt the flow of your essay.

language

Try to use a wider range of vocabulary and grammatical structures. This will help make your essay more interesting and demonstrate your English proficiency.

proofreading

Make sure to proofread your work for spelling and grammatical errors. Some sentences are difficult to understand due to incorrect word usage.

conclusion

In your conclusion, summarize the main points of your essay and restate your position clearly. Your conclusion is currently a bit unclear and could be stronger in summarizing your arguments.

content

Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, which is good for a balanced view.

examples

You have included some relevant examples to support your points.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

257 words

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Some people think that sports involving violence, such as boxing and martial arts, should be banned from TV as well as from international sporting competitions. To what extent do you agree?h

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people think that teenagers who commit crime should be treated the same way as adults criminals.To what extend do u agree or disagree?

Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, Thank him/her for the invitation Explain why you cannot come Ask him/her about other times to visit Write atleast 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear________.

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extend do you agree or disgree with this stagement.

In many countries, more and more people choose to buy imported food rather than food produced locally. Why people buy imported food? What can be done to encourage people to buy local food?