Some people think that advertising is beneficial to society, while others believe it has a negative impact. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #society #impact

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It is certainly true that a few individuals think that advertising has proved to be helpful to society

while

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others think it has a disadvantage. I have discussed

this

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situation in detail and given my opinion below.

People

Use synonyms

around the world get to know about various items through

advertisements

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. To put it another way, they realize through billboards and from the internet and they get to know about items that could be very supportive in daily life.

Moreover

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advertisements

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are best used when it comes to showing a discount on a product or sale of any kind.

Due to

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this

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, many more individuals tend to purchase those items, leading to an

overall

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increase in the popularity of the product. Commercial helps the buyer and the seller immensely which is greatly admired and used productively by mega and large businesses, as it is their best way to attract more customers to buy their products.

However

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, advertising is not completely beneficial to society and it has many cons to it. To clarify, there are many companies around the planet that scam

people

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into buying super expensive or fake products that aren't even properly functioning.

Also

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, these companies, mainly private ones, set up billboards with

advertisements

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in poor and rural areas as the

people

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over there are the most gullible to being scammed easily by their fault and fake

advertisements

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As a result

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, these

people

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keep getting doxed which leads to a negative impact and prevents them from trusting any ads. It

also

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leads to a loss , in customers and income,

Change preposition

for

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

good and trustworthy companies.

For example

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, a survey conducted by the University of Oxford stated that around 85% of the population in rural areas are getting scammed through

advertisements

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via online and billboards. In my opinion, advertisement has a more negative impact on the world.

Thus

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, the government should put more

efforts

Fix the agreement mistake

effort

show examples

to control

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into controlling

show examples

fake

advertisements

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, leading to fewer scams and

overall

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positive development. In conclusion, setting up

advertisements

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is admirable but can promote misinformation.

Therefore

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, a balanced approach is to be taken.

Submitted by ahv on Mon Jul 29 2024

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structure

In the introduction, you clearly stated the topic and mentioned that you will provide a discussion and your opinion. However, it would be more effective if you briefly mentioned what the opposing views are, instead of just stating 'I have discussed this situation in detail'.

coherence

Improve the use of transitional phrases and conjunctions to ensure a smooth flow of ideas. Words like 'furthermore', 'in addition', and 'on the contrary' can help connect your arguments better.

language

There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrases that could be polished, such as 'they realize through billboards and from the internet' which can be improved to 'they come to know about various items through billboards and internet advertisements'.

examples

While you have supported the main points, the examples provided could be more varied and detailed. Consider discussing specific advertisements or case studies to back up your points.

conclusion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes the discussion and offers a clear opinion, which is highly important for this essay type.

task response

You have demonstrated a good understanding of both views on the topic, and balanced your argument by discussing the benefits and drawbacks of advertising.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

344 words

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Some people think that advertising is beneficial to society, while others believe it has a negative impact. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write a letter to a friend inviting them to go on vacation with you. Include Why you want to go on holiday Where you want to go Why you want them to come with you

Some people believe that children of all ages should have extra responsibilities (for example, helping at home or at work). Others believe that, outside of school, children should be free to enjoy their lives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development