Some people think that advertising is beneficial to society, while others believe it has a negative impact. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is certainly true that a few individuals think that advertising has proved to be helpful to society
while
others think it has a disadvantage. I have discussed this
situation in detail and given my opinion below.
People
around the world get to know about various items through advertisements
. To put it another way, they realize through billboards and from the internet and they get to know about items that could be very supportive in daily life. Moreover
, advertisements
are best used when it comes to showing a discount on a product or sale of any kind. Due to
this
, many more individuals tend to purchase those items, leading to an overall
increase in the popularity of the product. Commercial helps the buyer and the seller immensely which is greatly admired and used productively by mega and large businesses, as it is their best way to attract more customers to buy their products.
However
, advertising is not completely beneficial to society and it has many cons to it. To clarify, there are many companies around the planet that scam people
into buying super expensive or fake products that aren't even properly functioning. Also
, these companies, mainly private ones, set up billboards with advertisements
in poor and rural areas as the people
over there are the most gullible to being scammed easily by their fault and fake advertisements
. As a result
, these people
keep getting doxed which leads to a negative impact and prevents them from trusting any ads. It also
leads to a loss , in customers and income, of
Change preposition
for
the
good and trustworthy companies. Correct article usage
apply
For example
, a survey conducted by the University of Oxford stated that around 85% of the population in rural areas are getting scammed through advertisements
via online and billboards.
In my opinion, advertisement has a more negative impact on the world. Thus
, the government should put more efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
to control
fake Change preposition
into controlling
advertisements
, leading to fewer scams and overall
positive development.
In conclusion, setting up advertisements
is admirable but can promote misinformation. Therefore
, a balanced approach is to be taken.Submitted by ahv on
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structure
In the introduction, you clearly stated the topic and mentioned that you will provide a discussion and your opinion. However, it would be more effective if you briefly mentioned what the opposing views are, instead of just stating 'I have discussed this situation in detail'.
coherence
Improve the use of transitional phrases and conjunctions to ensure a smooth flow of ideas. Words like 'furthermore', 'in addition', and 'on the contrary' can help connect your arguments better.
language
There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrases that could be polished, such as 'they realize through billboards and from the internet' which can be improved to 'they come to know about various items through billboards and internet advertisements'.
examples
While you have supported the main points, the examples provided could be more varied and detailed. Consider discussing specific advertisements or case studies to back up your points.
conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the discussion and offers a clear opinion, which is highly important for this essay type.
task response
You have demonstrated a good understanding of both views on the topic, and balanced your argument by discussing the benefits and drawbacks of advertising.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example