Some people think that success in life comes from hard working and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays, there has been a debate over the topic of

success

Use synonyms

and

Correct word choice

whether

show examples

the

appearance

Use synonyms

of it in our lives comes from hard

work

Use synonyms

and determination or

due to

Linking Words

other factors like

money

Use synonyms

. I believe that

success

Use synonyms

can be

gain

Change the form of the verb

gained

show examples

only by hard

work

Use synonyms

and

self discipline

Add a hyphen

self-discipline

show examples

. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will discuss both sides of the statement given.

Firstly

Linking Words

, people who have achieved

to be

Change the verb form

being

show examples

the best in their department confess in interviews the key points of their

success

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, one of them being hard

work

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, followed by

self motivation

Add a hyphen

self-motivation

show examples

that everything they dreamed about would

became

Change the verb form

become

show examples

reality in one day.

For example

Linking Words

, one of the most

successfull

Correct your spelling

successful

business women

Correct your spelling

businesswomen

show examples

in my country stated that the most important step to achieve

success

Use synonyms

in everything you want is to believe in yourself and in your own

strenght

Correct your spelling

strength

and

also

Linking Words

self discipline plays a crucial role in gaining

success

Use synonyms

As a result

Linking Words

, each day of hard

working

Replace the word

work

show examples

makes you come close to achieving

success

Use synonyms

in your life.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, folks consider that

money

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and

appearance

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helps

Change the verb form

help

show examples

you to achieve

success

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, for

them

Add a comma

them,

show examples

the idea of having

money

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can make you instantly

successfull

Correct your spelling

successful

as you can buy your way to it.

For instance

Linking Words

, folks from high society consider themselves superior to the

middle class

Add a hyphen

middle-class

show examples

folks, no matter how

much

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

hard they

work

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, as they do not display the

money

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or the rich

appearance

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they have. I

Correct your spelling

disagree

dissagree

Correct your spelling

disagree

with

this

Linking Words

statement as everybody can reach

success

Use synonyms

as long as

their

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

working honest

Replace the word

work honestly

show examples

for it, In conclusion, society should not judge someone because of their lack of

money

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and

appearance

Use synonyms

, everybody can achieve

success

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no matter where are they coming from as long as they are

determinated

Correct your spelling

determined

and working hard to achieve, might not be an easy path,

that

Correct word choice

but that

show examples

why

Add a missing verb

is why

show examples

not all people can achieve

success

Use synonyms

in their lives.

annaungureanu794

Jul 29, 2024

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task achievement

Your essay addresses both views and provides your opinion, which is good. However, you could improve the depth of your discussion on each side. Try to include more detailed examples and explanations to support your points.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph clearly presents a single, well-developed idea. While your paragraphs are relevant to the topic, some of them could benefit from further structural refinement. For instance, the flow between the points in the second body paragraph could be smoother.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion that frame your essay well. This helps in maintaining a coherent structure throughout the text.

task achievement

You provided a relevant example to illustrate the view that hard work and determination lead to success. This adds depth to your argument.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

306 words

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In the past, most people worked for small businesses, while more people now work for large businesses. What are the advantages and disadvantages of working for large businesses?

The values that we learn from our parents and family have greater influence on our future success than knowledge and skills we learn at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?