The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in school curriculum
Globalisation and industrialisation had
put on
some negative effects on people's lives, Verb problem
apply
due to
which number
of overweight people is increasing and becoming a threat to the national health care system. In Correct article usage
the number
this
regard, few believe that proper physical education
should be taught in the university to reduce the obesity
problem, such
as awareness among the pupils and teenagers. I completely agree with this
viewpoint, as regular physical activity
from a young age is crucial in combating obesity
and fostering a healthier society.
To begin
with, integrating more physical education
lessons into the school curriculum can instill
daily healthy Change the spelling
instil
habits
in children
. Regular physical activity
is essential for maintaining a healthy weight and preventing obesity
-related diseases such
as diabetes and cardiovascular issues. By ensuring that children
engage in physical exercise
regularly, schools
can help develop lifelong habits
of staying active. This
early intervention is critical because habits
formed in childhood often persist into adulthood, reducing the likelihood of obesity
later in life.
Secondly
, physical education
in schools
provides an inclusive environment where all students
can participate in various forms of exercise
. Many children
might not have access to sports facilities or safe outdoor spaces at home, making school the primary place where they can be physically active. By making PE a mandatory part of the curriculum, schools
ensure that all children
, regardless of their background, have the opportunity to benefit from regular exercise
.
Moreover
, physical education
classes can educate students
about the importance of a healthy lifestyle. PE lessons can include information about nutrition, the benefits of regular exercise
, and the risks associated with a sedentary lifestyle. This
holistic approach to health education
can empower students
to make informed choices about their diet and physical activity
, further
helping to reduce obesity
rates.
Additionally
, increasing physical education
in schools
can have broader social benefits. Physically active children
are more likely to perform better academically, as exercise
has been shown to improve concentration, memory, and overall
cognitive function. Furthermore
, regular physical activity
can enhance mental health, reducing the incidence of anxiety and depression among young people. These positive effects extend beyond the individual to benefit society as a whole by fostering a healthier, more productive population.
In conclusion, introducing more physical education
lessons in the school curriculum is a highly effective way to address the growing issue of obesity
and its strain on the healthcare system. By promoting regular physical activity
from a young age, schools
can help develop lifelong healthy habits
, provide inclusive opportunities for exercise
, and educate students
about the importance of a healthy lifestyle. This
comprehensive approach is essential for creating a healthier future generation and alleviating the burden on healthcare systems.Submitted by dlgrmaa9499 on
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task achievement
Your essay provides a comprehensive response to the task. However, consider incorporating more real-world examples or case studies to further illustrate your points.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is generally well-structured, you occasionally use complex sentences that could benefit from simplification for better readability.
task achievement
Your introduction effectively sets the context and outlines your main argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized, with clear paragraphs that each address a specific point.
coherence cohesion
You effectively use transition words to create a logical flow between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion succinctly summarizes your main points and reinforces your position.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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