The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in school curriculum

Globalisation and industrialisation had
put on
Verb problem
apply
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some negative effects on people's lives,
due to
which
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
of overweight people is increasing and becoming a threat to the national health care system. In
this
regard, few believe that proper physical
education
should be taught in the university to reduce the
obesity
problem,
such
as awareness among the pupils and teenagers. I completely agree with
this
viewpoint, as regular physical
activity
from a young age is crucial in combating
obesity
and fostering a healthier society.
To begin
with, integrating more physical
education
lessons into the school curriculum can
instill
Change the spelling
instil
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daily healthy
habits
in
children
. Regular physical
activity
is essential for maintaining a healthy weight and preventing
obesity
-related diseases
such
as diabetes and cardiovascular issues. By ensuring that
children
engage in physical
exercise
regularly,
schools
can help develop lifelong
habits
of staying active.
This
early intervention is critical because
habits
formed in childhood often persist into adulthood, reducing the likelihood of
obesity
later in life.
Secondly
, physical
education
in
schools
provides an inclusive environment where all
students
can participate in various forms of
exercise
. Many
children
might not have access to sports facilities or safe outdoor spaces at home, making school the primary place where they can be physically active. By making PE a mandatory part of the curriculum,
schools
ensure that all
children
, regardless of their background, have the opportunity to benefit from regular
exercise
.
Moreover
, physical
education
classes can educate
students
about the importance of a healthy lifestyle. PE lessons can include information about nutrition, the benefits of regular
exercise
, and the risks associated with a sedentary lifestyle.
This
holistic approach to health
education
can empower
students
to make informed choices about their diet and physical
activity
,
further
helping to reduce
obesity
rates.
Additionally
, increasing physical
education
in
schools
can have broader social benefits. Physically active
children
are more likely to perform better academically, as
exercise
has been shown to improve concentration, memory, and
overall
cognitive function.
Furthermore
, regular physical
activity
can enhance mental health, reducing the incidence of anxiety and depression among young people. These positive effects extend beyond the individual to benefit society as a whole by fostering a healthier, more productive population. In conclusion, introducing more physical
education
lessons in the school curriculum is a highly effective way to address the growing issue of
obesity
and its strain on the healthcare system. By promoting regular physical
activity
from a young age,
schools
can help develop lifelong healthy
habits
, provide inclusive opportunities for
exercise
, and educate
students
about the importance of a healthy lifestyle.
This
comprehensive approach is essential for creating a healthier future generation and alleviating the burden on healthcare systems.
Submitted by dlgrmaa9499 on

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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
Your introduction effectively sets the context and outlines your main argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized, with clear paragraphs that each address a specific point.
coherence cohesion
You effectively use transition words to create a logical flow between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion succinctly summarizes your main points and reinforces your position.

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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