For more and more people, wearing fashionable clothes has become very important. Is this attitude to wearing fashionable clothes a positive or a negative development?

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People from all walks of life are becoming dedicated followers of

fashion

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, constantly trying to keep up-to-date with the latest

fashion

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trends. There are both benefits and drawbacks to

this

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;

however

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, I personally feel that it borders on being more harmful than beneficial. Increased interest in

fashion

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has resulted in fashionable clothing being more affordable for the masses. Previously, owning

such

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items meant buying overpriced designer

clothes

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and,

therefore

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, it was only accessible to the wealthy and the privileged. In the

last

Linking Words

few decades,

however

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, high-street chains have been producing trendy

clothes

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at affordable prices to meet the greater demand of the general public.

As a result

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fashion

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is no longer a reserve for the rich, but is now accessible to all. which is a positive step forward in

this

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regard.

On the other hand

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, though,

this

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desire to be stylish has greater negative consequences.

Firstly

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, it has made

clothes

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more disposable, as outfits are produced cheaply, worn on a couple of occasions and

subsequently

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discarded.

This

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causes a large amount of waste and exacerbates the problem of pollution.

In addition

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this

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, there is a great deal of pressure, particularly on the younger generation, to keep up with their peers.

For instance

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, if a student is wearing the latest Nike trainers, and

consequently

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, everyone in the class feels pressured into having the same or equally trendy footwear. In conclusion,

this

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obsession with wearing the latest

fashion

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trends has made

clothes

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thrown away and not reusable.

Moreover

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this

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incessant need to have the latest must-have items puts far too much pressure on the environment and adolescents, so it cannot be regarded as progress.

lenam2k1Sat May 25 2024

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task achievement

To achieve a higher score, consider further developing each argument with more extensive examples and analysis. For example, discuss specific environmental impacts or psychological effects on individuals.

task achievement

Improve the conclusion by summarizing both the benefits and drawbacks before stating your final opinion to provide a more balanced view.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Consider using more varied linking words and phrases to enhance flow.

coherence cohesion

Develop your points uniformly; some points, like societal pressures, are well discussed, while others, like affordability, could be expanded further.

introduction conclusion present

The essay has a clear and concise introduction which sets the stage for your arguments.

supported main points

Main points are well-supported with relevant examples, such as the mention of affordable high-street fashion and pressure among students.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction and conclusion effectively encapsulate the main arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

273 words

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For more and more people, wearing fashionable clothes has become very important. Is this attitude to wearing fashionable clothes a positive or a negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In many countries, traditional dress and costumes are considered effective ways of maintaining links with the past. How effective can traditional costumes be, in this sense? What other ways exist to help citizens connect with a country’s past?

Some people think that sport is very important for society. Others, however, argue that it is nothing more than a leisure activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many people have more jobs at the same time, so they dont have enough time for their family. To what extend do you agree this ?