In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their level of health is decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days, the big matter that most countries around the world have is that the average weight of their inhabitants is climbing
while
Linking Words
the level of their health is reducing.
This
Linking Words
essay discusses the main reasons for
this
Linking Words
problem and how we can solve
this
Linking Words
situation. In the new era, the factors that have a lot of effect on obesity are the methods of
lifestyle
Use synonyms
and eating habits. On the one hand, today, people have a sedentary
lifestyle
Use synonyms
owing to the fact that technology is developing and they have access to a range of devices that improve their
lifestyle
Use synonyms
quality.
For example
Linking Words
, populations do not need to spend a great deal of
time
Use synonyms
doing housework because robots do their work.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, most of the global inhabitants spend a lot of their
time
Use synonyms
working and they do not have sufficient
time
Use synonyms
for cooking.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they prefer to eat convenient food
that is
Linking Words
really cheap and has a number of negative items ,
such
Linking Words
as oil, sugar and so on.
This
Linking Words
obstacle can be solved by governments. authorities have to advertise the activity and encourage people to do their work without using new devices or investing some
time
Use synonyms
in doing sports like running in the park.
In addition
Linking Words
, when governments get a lot of taxes from the public who buy fast food or goods that are calorie-dense,
then
Linking Words
the individuals are persuaded to eat low-calorie meals namely, vegetables.
To conclude
Linking Words
, the overweight which is a consequence of developing a sedentary
lifestyle
Use synonyms
and faulty eating habits has to be altered by governments. In fact, authorities have access to some elements that have an influence on their unconscious and put them under pressure to change their food ingredients.
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to integrate more specific examples to illustrate your points more vividly, as concrete examples can enhance understanding.
coherence cohesion
Work on varying sentence structures and using more transition words to improve the flow and connection between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The introduction sets a clear agenda for the essay, providing a concise overview of the issue.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a logical structure throughout, with a clear division of causes and solutions.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and offers a concise resolution to the problem addressed.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • average weight
  • level of health
  • processed foods
  • calorie-dense
  • unhealthy fats
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • balanced diet
  • urbanization
  • fast food options
  • nutritional education
  • emotional eating
  • economic factors
  • convenience
  • streaming services
  • smart devices
  • transportation
  • mental health
  • stressful lifestyles
  • physical activity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: