The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Your essay should comprise a minimum of 250 words.
In
this
day and age, work and life are also
a hotly debated topic. Today, people are always busy with their jobs. Therefore
, many people argue that the working week should be shorter and employees should have a longer weekend
. In my opinion, I totally agree with it. The following essay will indicate my opinion.
Firstly
, a shorter working week and a longer weekend
can help people to relax and take care of themselves more after a week that they worked very hard. On the weekdays, they often have to stay up late and get up early to complete their work. So one day at the weekend
is not enough for them to recover their both mental and physical health because they only can sleep without going out or having a short trip. So a longer weekend
can help them do it. For example
, when a worker has a longer weekend
, she can get up later then
she can have time
to go shopping and cook some dishes she loves and go out with her friends to chill in the park or do some of her hobbies such
as playing badminton.
Secondly
, having more time
to relax can help them have opportunities to spend time
with their family because , during the weekdays, their work is so much, therefore
, they can not take care of their family well. In addition
, they also
do not have much communication with their family because all of them always want to hurry so that they go to an agency. So a longer weekend
will be a perfect time
for them and their family. For example
, they can spend these weekends taking their children to parks or zoos so that their kids can explore and learn new things and the family bond is also
strengthened. Moreover
, they also
have time
to visit their parents in their hometown.
In conclusion, today, workers should have shorter working weeks and longer weekends. I strongly agree with this
opinion because now employees have to undergo a lot of stress and tiredness in their jobs so they need more time
to relax and recover their health.Submitted by duongntt.tld on
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introduction enhancement
While the introduction is clear, it could be enhanced by providing a more detailed background on why the topic is of significance in today's context. This would help set a stronger stage for your argument.
evidence improvement
The main points are well-identified and supported, but they could be further strengthened by including additional examples or statistics that provide a more robust argument. Consider bringing more evidence to support your viewpoints.
grammar suggestion
There are a few sentences with small grammatical errors and awkward phrasings, such as "...so one day at the weekend is not enough for them to recover their both mental and physical health." Review your essay for grammar and clarity to help your arguments come across more effectively.
structure praise
The essay has a clear and logical structure, with a defined introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, making it easy to follow the writer's arguments.
example usage praise
You presented some relevant examples, such as going shopping, cooking, and spending time with family, that effectively illustrate your points.
conclusion praise
The conclusion clearly summarizes the main arguments and reiterates your stance, which helps to reinforce your viewpoint.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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