The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Your essay should comprise a minimum of 250 words.

#week #workers #weekend

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

this

day and age, work and life are

also

a hotly debated topic. Today, people are always busy with their jobs.

Therefore

, many people argue that the working week should be shorter and employees should have a longer

weekend

. In my opinion, I totally agree with it. The following essay will indicate my opinion.

Firstly

, a shorter working week and a longer

weekend

can help people to relax and take care of themselves more after a week that they worked very hard. On the weekdays, they often have to stay up late and get up early to complete their work. So one day at the

weekend

is not enough for them to recover their both mental and physical health because they only can sleep without going out or having a short trip. So a longer

weekend

can help them do it.

For example

, when a worker has a longer

weekend

, she can get up later

then

she can have

time

to go shopping and cook some dishes she loves and go out with her friends to chill in the park or do some of her hobbies

such

as playing badminton.

Secondly

, having more

time

to relax can help them have opportunities to spend

time

with their family because , during the weekdays, their work is so much,

therefore

, they can not take care of their family well.

In addition

, they

also

do not have much communication with their family because all of them always want to hurry so that they go to an agency. So a longer

weekend

will be a perfect

time

for them and their family.

For example

, they can spend these weekends taking their children to parks or zoos so that their kids can explore and learn new things and the family bond is

also

strengthened.

Moreover

, they

also

have

time

to visit their parents in their hometown. In conclusion, today, workers should have shorter working weeks and longer weekends. I strongly agree with

this

opinion because now employees have to undergo a lot of stress and tiredness in their jobs so they need more

time

to relax and recover their health.

Submitted by duongntt.tld on Tue Jul 30 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction enhancement

While the introduction is clear, it could be enhanced by providing a more detailed background on why the topic is of significance in today's context. This would help set a stronger stage for your argument.

evidence improvement

The main points are well-identified and supported, but they could be further strengthened by including additional examples or statistics that provide a more robust argument. Consider bringing more evidence to support your viewpoints.

grammar suggestion

There are a few sentences with small grammatical errors and awkward phrasings, such as "...so one day at the weekend is not enough for them to recover their both mental and physical health." Review your essay for grammar and clarity to help your arguments come across more effectively.

structure praise

The essay has a clear and logical structure, with a defined introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, making it easy to follow the writer's arguments.

example usage praise

You presented some relevant examples, such as going shopping, cooking, and spending time with family, that effectively illustrate your points.

conclusion praise

The conclusion clearly summarizes the main arguments and reiterates your stance, which helps to reinforce your viewpoint.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

356 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

productivity
burnout
motivation
mental well-being
work-life balance
job satisfaction
pollution levels
traffic congestion
consumer spending
economic implications
leisure and service sectors

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Some people think that newspapers are the best way to get news. However, others believe that other media are better sources of news. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
These days, technology has been developing, so people have different beliefs about using it. For example, for reading the news a group of people believe that the newspaper is the best choice while others select media. I subscribe to the second idea owing to the fact that the media share news faster, and you can see a range of channels with less money.
7
band
In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to the cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing,  Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Many countries around the world are experiencing an increase in urban population. As a consequence, the rural populations are declining at a significant rate. This sparks a debate about whether this is a positive or a negative development. This essay argues that this phenomenon is a positive development for a number of reasons that will be discussed in upcoming paragraphs.
7.5
band
In many countries, schools have severe problems with student behaviours. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Many teachers around the world seem to have difficulty dealing with the inappropriate behaviour of children. I believe that the primary reasons come from the declining support from parents and their growing dependence on digital devices in daily life. Practical solutions such as the education of social manners and information literacy will be necessary to promote their responsible acts in the future.
5
band
Modern societies need specialists in certain fields, but not others. Some people, therefore, think that governments should pay university fees for students who study subjects that are needed by society. Those who choose to study less relevent subjects should not receive the government funding Would the advantages of such an educational policy outweigh the disadvantage
In the world of global problems we have a lot of useful and not majors. Therefore, more and more people argued that government must pay the cost of university for the ones who study relevant subjects, while for others, who choose more pointless classes, they should not make scholarships and grants. But this studying system has their own advantages and diasadvantages.
5
band
Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discurss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some people argue that History is one of the most significant part of education while others consider that learning Science and Technology is more appropriate for the students in the modern society. In my view, both of the disciplines are essential to the development of humanity.

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Your essay should comprise a minimum of 250 words.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people think that newspapers are the best way to get news. However, others believe that other media are better sources of news. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to the cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing, Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In many countries, schools have severe problems with student behaviours. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discurss both these views and give your own opinion.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to the cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing,  Do you think this is a positive or negative development?