Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school, Do the advantages of this outweight disadvantages

Some experts say that it is better for
children
to begin
a foreign
language
at primary
school
rather than secondary
school
.
However
, there are both advantages and disadvantages to the thing. in
this
essay, I will look at both sides and try to draw some conclusions. Let's start by looking at the advantages of learning a foreign
language
at primary
school
. One of the main positives of learning from the beginning will help the
children
with easier pronunciation. What I mean is from
this
age
, they spend most of their energy on these activities and it leads to easier knowledge acquirement compared to secondary
school
age
. Opposite from the secondary
school
age
, they
are
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apply
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now
having
Wrong verb form
have
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more
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
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on daily activities and become teenager, they will
spending
Change the verb form
spend
be spending
show examples
their time on personal appearance and other attractive
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
surrounding them
Secondly
, at primary
school
age
,
children
will learn naturally from others.
For example
, they will listen to you and repeat afterwards, it helps to develop them from listening skills which will be fundamental for them in the future. Contrary
from
Change preposition
to
show examples
secondary
school
age
,
children
start to shape their
Correct your spelling
mindset
show examples
mind set
Correct your spelling
mindset
show examples
and will be more passive in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
of learning Turning to the other side of the argument, letting
children
start to learn a foreign
language
too early could lead them into
language
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a language
show examples
disorder situation.
For instance
, sometimes they will speak
Correct article usage
the dua
show examples
dua
Capitalize word
Dua
show examples
language
automatedly without control.
This
may affect their mother
language
in the future. In conclusion, there are clearly both advantages and disadvantages for
children
to begin
learning a foreign
language
at primary
school
rather than secondary
school
Submitted by luantrat on

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task achievement
Your essay would benefit from further development and support of your main points. For example, you could include more specific examples or explanations for how primary school children can learn languages more effectively. Additionally, provide a more detailed analysis of the potential disadvantages to create a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of your essay by using more linking words and transitional phrases. This will help to clearly connect your introductory points, supporting arguments, and conclusion. Some sentences and ideas feel a bit disjointed, which can affect the overall coherence.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to the clarity and accuracy of your language. Some sentences need refinement for better understanding. For example, 'learning from the beginning will help the children with easier pronunciation' can be rephrased to 'learning from an early age helps children with pronunciation.' Additionally, 'Opposite from the secondary school age, they are now having more thing on daily activities and become teenager, they will spending their time on personal appearance and other attractive thing surrounding them' can be rephrased to 'In secondary school, children have more daily activities and distractions, such as focusing on personal appearance and other interests.'
task achievement
You have addressed both sides of the argument, which shows a clear attempt to provide a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion succinctly sums up the main points discussed, which helps to reinforce your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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