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Band 2.5

Some people claim that museums and art galleries will not be need because people can see historical objects and works of arts by computers. Do you agree or disagree

#people #museums #art #galleries #objects #works #arts #computers
In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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contemporary society, there
are
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is
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 widespread discussion about numerous
of
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apply
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citizens
argue
Wrong verb form
arguing
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 to replace historical museums and fashion galleries to display to become on online, and various arguments have been put forward.
Whlist
Correct your spelling
Whilst
 a large number of advocates may strenuously argue that .Considering the numerous
of
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apply
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aspects made. In
fact
Add a comma
fact,
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this
 essay
disagree
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disagrees
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 and
i
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I
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 would discuss both
side
Change to a plural noun
sides
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.
According to
 that,
there
Replace the word
their
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 debates have resulted in acrimonious or rancorous,
while
 the statements
extermelly
Correct your spelling
extremely
externally
 disagree,
in
addition
Add the comma(s)
addition,
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 the
musemus
Correct your spelling
museums
 and art should take place
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
they
Add a verb
they are
they were
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 traditional in the country, for
examble
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example
 the
toursim
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tourism
 from
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
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 when
come
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coming
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 to the city should visit
hisrotical
Correct your spelling
historical
 places,
furthermore
, numerous of research demonstrated in 1988 how
improtunity
Correct your spelling
importunity
opportunity
 preserve the place. Despite some obvious reasons described
overhead
Rephrase
above
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, there are several actions debates
the
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about the
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 reasons to remove the
gallerires
Correct your spelling
galleries
 and museums to become on computers, another instance is that more
flixable
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flexible
, as an illustration of aspects its easy to display
also
 take some idea to
asisst
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assist
 adult on
homeworks
Correct your spelling
homework
 rather than went to
these area
Change the determiner
this area
these areas
show examples
, To summarize our discussions so
farm
Correct your spelling
far
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 there are two divergent views related to
this
 issue. On is that offer to replace the museums and art on computers. Taking into account
of
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apply
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both
side
Fix the agreement mistake
sides
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 of the argument,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 am more inclined to hold the first argument.
Submitted by rahafabinsaif on

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task achievement
Your essay attempts to address the topic, but some sentences and ideas are unclear or incomplete. Working on creating clear and comprehensive sentences will help you better communicate your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay needs a stronger logical structure. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all paragraphs flow in a logical order. Clearly articulate your stance at the beginning and restate it in the conclusion.
task achievement
More relevant specific examples are needed to strengthen your arguments. Make sure to provide concrete examples that directly support your main points.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction attempts to set up the discussion and indicates that you will look at both sides of the argument.
clear comprehensive ideas
There is an effort to present arguments from both perspectives, which shows an understanding of the assignment prompt.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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