Fewer young people play sports these days. Why is this? What can be done to encourage more young people to do sports?

#people #sports

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The trend of fewer young people engaging in

sports

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has become a concerning

issue

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in modern society.

This

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essay will examine both the causes of and solutions to

this

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issue

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. There are two main reasons why most young

children

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are not taking part in

sports

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in their daily lives. For one, addiction to electronic devices is the main cause which prevents the young generation from participating in physical activities. Today, there are more

such

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kinds of electronics compared to the past, so

children

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are using and being busy with them all the time.

Secondly

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, There is a lack of awareness about the benefits of physical exercise on health. Educational places

such

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as schools and universities do not commonly talk to their students about the importance of

sports

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and

not

Add a missing verb

do not

show examples

inspire them

while

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young

children

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are there. One pertinent example is that I am studying at the university , but there are no

sports

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-related subjects. To combat

this

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issue

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, one viable solution is to reduce the time spent on unnecessary activities

such

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as playing online games and surfing the internet. Parents should always control their

children

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and set timetables which should be finished by them during the daytime. Another potential solution is that teachers should recall the significance of sport on people’s health. If they are encouraged and are aware of the beneficial sides of training

sports

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such

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as halting poor posture, they will be more energetic and try to join teams that do

sports

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on a daily basis. In conclusion,

although

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the trend of fewer young people participating in

sports

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is alarming, it is not insurmountable. By addressing the root causes of

this

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issue

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and implementing measures to promote physical activity, we can encourage more young people to engage in

sports

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and reap its numerous benefits.

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Tue Jul 30 2024

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task response

Your essay addresses the task effectively by discussing both reasons for the decreased participation in sports among young people and potential solutions. However, providing more specific examples and evidence could strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

The essay is well-organized with clear paragraphs and a logical flow of ideas. Be cautious with minor grammatical errors and punctuation issues to maintain clarity.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a well-defined structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This enhances readability and coherence.

coherence cohesion

Your ideas are developed logically with explanations and examples that follow a coherent pattern, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.

task response

You have fully addressed the task by discussing both the reasons and potential solutions, showing a comprehensive understanding of the issue.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

296 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary
engagement
incentives
obesity
recreation
well-being
peer pressure
physical fitness
endurance
balance
teamwork
coordination
confidence
self-esteem
discipline
facilities
accessible
affordable
curriculum
extracurricular
inclusion

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Fewer young people play sports these days. Why is this? What can be done to encourage more young people to do sports?

Your opinion

More and more young people from wealthy countries are spending time in communities in poorer countries doing unpaid work such as teaching or building houses. Why is this? Who benefits more from this, the communities or these young people?

Many people feel it is a waste of money to try to save endangered animal species, for example the tiger or the blue whale. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

All cars that burn fossil fuels should be banned and electric cars should replace them. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that men and women are equal and so women should be able to do any job they want. Others feel that men and women are not equal and therefore there are certain jobs which are not suitable for women. What is your opinion?