Fewer young people play sports these days. Why is this? What can be done to encourage more young people to do sports?

The trend of fewer young people engaging in
sports
has become a concerning
issue
in modern society.
This
essay will examine both the causes of and solutions to
this
issue
. There are two main reasons why most young
children
are not taking part in
sports
in their daily lives. For one, addiction to electronic devices is the main cause which prevents the young generation from participating in physical activities. Today, there are more
such
kinds of electronics compared to the past, so
children
are using and being busy with them all the time.
Secondly
, There is a lack of awareness about the benefits of physical exercise on health. Educational places
such
as schools and universities do not commonly talk to their students about the importance of
sports
and
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
inspire them
while
young
children
are there. One pertinent example is that I am studying at the university , but there are no
sports
-related subjects. To combat
this
issue
, one viable solution is to reduce the time spent on unnecessary activities
such
as playing online games and surfing the internet. Parents should always control their
children
and set timetables which should be finished by them during the daytime. Another potential solution is that teachers should recall the significance of sport on people’s health. If they are encouraged and are aware of the beneficial sides of training
sports
such
as halting poor posture, they will be more energetic and try to join teams that do
sports
on a daily basis. In conclusion,
although
the trend of fewer young people participating in
sports
is alarming, it is not insurmountable. By addressing the root causes of
this
issue
and implementing measures to promote physical activity, we can encourage more young people to engage in
sports
and reap its numerous benefits.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task response
Your essay addresses the task effectively by discussing both reasons for the decreased participation in sports among young people and potential solutions. However, providing more specific examples and evidence could strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with clear paragraphs and a logical flow of ideas. Be cautious with minor grammatical errors and punctuation issues to maintain clarity.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a well-defined structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This enhances readability and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are developed logically with explanations and examples that follow a coherent pattern, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
task response
You have fully addressed the task by discussing both the reasons and potential solutions, showing a comprehensive understanding of the issue.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary
  • engagement
  • incentives
  • obesity
  • recreation
  • well-being
  • peer pressure
  • physical fitness
  • endurance
  • balance
  • teamwork
  • coordination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • discipline
  • facilities
  • accessible
  • affordable
  • curriculum
  • extracurricular
  • inclusion
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