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Band 6

Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#computers #invention #years
During recent centuries, humankind has invented lots of things , accompanied by or
due to
 the rapid progress of science and technology,
such
 as cars, planes, medicine to cure cancers and various equipment used in factories. These have brought dramatic changes to our daily lives. People may have different ideas when arguing about which is the most important one, but as for me, I should claim that computers outweigh all others in their importance to us. Should
this
 invention not come into reality, it is extremely hard to imagine what today's world will be. First and foremost, f,
have
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has
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 been widely used in nearly every field of our modern society. For individuals, it is used for learning or entertainment. For companies, they are essential equipment to communicate messages
,
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apply
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 and store commercial documents. For factories, logistics
arrangement
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arrangements
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 and production monitoring are
also
 heavily dependent on them. Even governments are improving their service level and providing convenience by utilising the capabilities of these machines.
However
, they are not simply machines. Another manifest factor to verdict its importance lies in that they are evolving into intelligent machines, namely AI. AI is not a collection of cold chips or disks, it is a super-man, it can think, it can answer your questions and it is now providing a deeper and better understanding and solutions to the common problems humans might be less efficient or even
has
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have
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 no chance to resolve. That said, I could not think of any other
similarly
 significant man-made instruments which could replace them. The computers,
instead
, are exploring more areas than before with a more profound methodology, in the years to come, we might be astounded at the stunning fruits resulting from its progress.
Submitted by davidyangjc on

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task achievement
The essay provides a reasonable argument with a clear position that is maintained throughout the response. However, the essay could be enhanced by a more explicit thesis statement in the introduction and a summary of main points in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The essay generally presents ideas in a logical and ordered way but occasionally lacks clear topic sentences to introduce main points, making it necessary for the reader to infer the purpose of the paragraph. Transitions between ideas could be smoother.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • invention
  • revolutionized
  • industries
  • communication
  • connectivity
  • productivity
  • efficiency
  • advancements
  • scientific research
  • technology
  • access
  • information
  • learn
  • limitations
  • disadvantages
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