Playing games is bad for children. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this view?

#games #children

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

There is a view that playing video

games

Use synonyms

can negatively affect

children

Use synonyms

. I completely disagree with

this

Linking Words

notion because

games

Use synonyms

have many benefits for

children

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as improving many important

skills

Use synonyms

, the opportunity to have

fun

Use synonyms

with friends and the potential to make

money

Use synonyms

through gaming. The first advantage of gaming for the young generation is that it can improve many

skills

Use synonyms

. It has been proven by many studies that

games

Use synonyms

that require mental functioning can be beneficial for

children

Use synonyms

’s

brain

Fix the agreement mistake

brains

show examples

. Survival, action and strategy

games

Use synonyms

can enhance

children

Use synonyms

’s problem-solving

skills

Use synonyms

, logical thinking and creativity because these

games

Use synonyms

put

children

Use synonyms

in unknown situations where they are forced to solve problems. Another upside to gaming is the opportunity to have

fun

Use synonyms

with friends. Many

games

Use synonyms

are designed to be played in teams.

This

Linking Words

means that

children

Use synonyms

can spend time playing

games

Use synonyms

with their friends and have

fun

Use synonyms

with them.

This

Linking Words

experience can

also

Linking Words

strengthen the bonds between peers and give them life-long memories.

Games

Use synonyms

like CS GO and DOTA 2 can

also

Linking Words

teach

children

Use synonyms

Change preposition

apply

show examples

how to work in a team, which is an important skill for

children

Use synonyms

’s future

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

Games

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

give

children

Use synonyms

a chance to earn

money

Use synonyms

. A range of different gaming competitions with prizes are held every year, and those who win can win prize

money

Use synonyms

which can range from a few hundred dollars to millions. Another way to make

money

Use synonyms

is through streaming

games

Use synonyms

, which people watch from around the globe and can make donations to their

favorite

Change the spelling

favourite

show examples

player

Fix the agreement mistake

players

show examples

Replace the punctuation

...

show examples

In conclusion, I hold the view that

games

Use synonyms

not only are

games

Use synonyms

fun

Use synonyms

way for

children

Use synonyms

to spend time together, but

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

can

also

Linking Words

be helpful in terms of improving many cognitive

skills

Use synonyms

and the chance to make

money

Use synonyms

through gaming.

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Tue Jul 30 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

The essay is quite well-organized with clear introductory and concluding paragraphs. However, the last sentence in the conclusion could be simplified for clarity and conciseness.

task achievement

While the essay presents a clear response to the task with relevant and specific examples, integrating a counterargument could enhance the depth of the discussion.

coherence cohesion

The introduction immediately presents the writer's position clearly and concisely, which sets a clear focus for the essay.

supported main points

Each paragraph addresses a distinct point and is well-developed with supporting details, making the argument more compelling.

task achievement

The use of specific examples such as CS GO and DOTA 2 strengthens the argument by providing concrete illustrations.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

294 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion
Modern technology plays a crucial role in creating a borderless society, regardless of language. Some commentators argue that technology also has separated us from the real world. In this essay, I will examine both perspectives and provide my opinion on this matter.
<4
band
The differences between countries are becoming less and less evident. People all over the world wear the same fashions, watch the same t.v. channels, use the same brands and have similar eating habits. Do you think that the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?
It is undeniable fact that the adoption of different cultural is common thing in today's world.Although coping the different cultural offering the more advantages but we cannot ignore the drawbacks of it . Here ,i would discuss the pros of this trend outweigh the cons.
5
band
Some people think that some type of criminals should not go to prison, instead they should do unpaid work in the community. To what extent do you agree?
Nowadays criminal activities are becoming more and more common in our society. Someone might suggest that sentencing the lawbreaker to the prison is not the most efficent way of managing human resources, instead they should spend their time helping others. Im concerned that this is the best way of punishment that we have today.
5.5
band
In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?
Since Agriculture is a pivotal issue in communities, this subject should be paid attention. Despite its importance, some countries suffer from poverty and lack of agricultural products. This is occurring because the population of the world is rising and demands are far more than supplies. For tackling this problem health care system and education should be increased.
5
band
Some people are making new friends by using socializing network website and Internet chat rooms. Some people say that this is a good thing. Other people say that people should make new friends by face-to-face chat. Discuss these views and give your own opinion.
Friendship is one of the basic requirements of human beings. In this regard, some of them create it by exploiting the internet such as social networks and web pages and believe that it is a reasonable concept and others say that to make friends one has to meet in person. In this essay, I will explore the reasons behind this reason and discuss whether it is a positive or negative impact.

Playing games is bad for children. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this view?

Fully explain your ideas

Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion

The differences between countries are becoming less and less evident. People all over the world wear the same fashions, watch the same t.v. channels, use the same brands and have similar eating habits. Do you think that the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that some type of criminals should not go to prison, instead they should do unpaid work in the community. To what extent do you agree?

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

Some people are making new friends by using socializing network website and Internet chat rooms. Some people say that this is a good thing. Other people say that people should make new friends by face-to-face chat. Discuss these views and give your own opinion.