These days, in many countries fewer and fewer people want to become teachers, particularly in secondary school. What are the reasons for this, and how could the problem be solved?

Nowadays, in many countries, there has been a sharp drop in the number of young people who want to become
teachers
, especially in secondary schools. In
this
essay, I will discuss the reasons for
this
and give some solutions.  
To begin
with, the main
problem
is that teaching has become one of the lowest-paid jobs. Graduates these days prefer to pursue more lucrative careers
such
as banking and IT programming.
That is
because they can usually earn twice as much money working in those spheres. Particularly in Uzbekistan, many
teachers
with five years of experience earn as much as IT programmers who just finished their courses. The
problem
could be solved by the government allocating increased funding for
teachers
, which would attract more people into
this
profession.    Another
problem
is that many students misbehave in lessons. That, in turn, makes it difficult for
teachers
to conduct classes, for
teachers
not only have to deliver knowledge but
also
deal with pupils who disobey them.
This
tends to put off potential
teachers
as well. To solve
this
problem
, parents should give their children a sense of respect for
teachers
, or corporal punishment should be brought back, in order to make children behave better in class.   The third cause of the
problem
is that
teachers
often have too much work to do. They are often snowed under with paperwork, which means that they have to work in the evenings and have little time for their family.
This
makes their job tiring and ruins
teachers
’ work-life balance. The solution could be reached by reducing
teachers
’ working hours and involving more teaching assistants, which would make teaching an easier job.    
To sum up
, teaching has become a less attractive job in many countries because of the low salary, pupils’ behaviour, and the burden of work. Unless we tackle these issues, teaching will remain one of the least prestigious jobs, and education at schools will continue to suffer. In my opinion, the main responsibility for solving the
problem
lies with parents and the government.
Submitted by Amir Rustamov on

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task achievement
Consider expanding on the examples to make them more specific and relevant to the point being made. This can help to illustrate your arguments more convincingly.
coherence cohesion
Try to enhance your transitions between ideas and paragraphs slightly. While they are generally good, making them smoother can improve the overall flow.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with clear paragraphs and logical progression of ideas.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the argument, giving the essay a coherent structure.
task achievement
The main points are well-supported, touching on salary issues, student behavior, and workload, which are all relevant to the topic.
task achievement
There is a clear and complete response to the task, addressing both the reasons for fewer people wanting to become teachers and potential solutions.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • educational system
  • motivation
  • teacher shortage
  • work-life balance
  • job security
  • incentives
  • remuneration
  • public appreciation
  • career prospects
  • professional growth
  • retention rates
  • policy reforms
  • recruitment strategies
  • teaching methods
  • educational resources
  • government funding
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