IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people claim that museums and art galleries will not be need because people can see historical objects and works of arts by computers. Do you agree or disagree

#people #museums #art #galleries #objects #works #arts #computers
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In
this
Linking Words
 modern era,
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 is ubiquitous across the world and
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
 many
possibility
Change to a plural noun
possibilities
show examples
 including virtual
exhibition
Fix the agreement mistake
exhibitions
show examples
. For
this
Linking Words
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
, some advocate conventional
showcase
Fix the agreement mistake
showcases
show examples
, including
museums
Use synonyms
 and
art
Use synonyms
galleries
Use synonyms
, could be
elliminiated entierely
Correct your spelling
eliminated entirely
. I personally disagree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
Linking Words
 statement wholeheartedly and I will elaborate my
view points
Correct your spelling
viewpoints
show examples
 on the matter. On the
first
Correct word choice
other
show examples
 hand, It is undeniable that online
website
Fix the agreement mistake
websites
show examples
 will assist users
to watch
Change preposition
in watching
show examples
 products,
although
Linking Words
 not in the same physical space.
Moreover
Linking Words
, technological advancement would
also
Linking Words
 provide
visitor
Fix the agreement mistake
visitors
show examples
 a new features
such
Linking Words
 as
3D
Correct article usage
a 3D
show examples
 view that can
be rotate
Change the verb form
be rotated
show examples
 to see each side of the
product
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 yielding a big ease to the customer, traditional
galleries
Use synonyms
 would not be substituted by virtual media.
Museums
Use synonyms
 and
galleries
Use synonyms
 have some unreplaceable
feeling
Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
show examples
, especially for
art
Use synonyms
enthusiast
Change the noun form
enthusiasts
show examples
,
such
Linking Words
 as the smell of the
product
Use synonyms
, the touch feeling, and a special satisfaction.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, In several
galleries
Use synonyms
,
visitor
Fix the agreement mistake
visitors
show examples
 could try the
product
Use synonyms
 or touch the
art
Use synonyms
. To exemplify, they can use
an old tools
Correct the article-noun agreement
old tools
an old tool
show examples
 from the past in
galleries
Use synonyms
, or touch the statue in the
museums
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, conventional
showcase
Fix the agreement mistake
showcases
show examples
 have a guide who will accompany the visitor and tell them the story behind the
product
Use synonyms
. In a couple of
galleries
Use synonyms
, we could
also
Linking Words
 meet the artist and
becoma
Correct your spelling
become
 a
meet and greet
Add a hyphen
meet-and-greet
show examples
 reunion location for
art
Use synonyms
enthusiast
Fix the agreement mistake
enthusiasts
show examples
. In order to stimulate a better exhibition, traditional events are
also
Linking Words
 a financial support to the
museums
Use synonyms
 and the
artist
Fix the agreement mistake
artists
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, a bid is
usally
Correct your spelling
usually
 held in some
galleries
Use synonyms
 to sell the
art
Use synonyms
 to the customer.
To sum up
Linking Words
, even though virtual
galleries
Use synonyms
 provide multiple eases, I personally believe traditional
museums
Use synonyms
 and
galleries
Use synonyms
 should be fostered. rather
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
replaced
Wrong verb form
replace
show examples
completely
Correct pronoun usage
them completely
show examples
, I would rather
to
Remove the marker
apply
show examples
combine
technology
Replace the word
technological
show examples
 advancement with existing
museums
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by epindonta02 on

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lexical resource
It is essential to ensure the accuracy of your vocabulary and avoid frequent spelling errors. Proofreading your essay to correct words like 'elliminiated', 'entierely', 'becoma', etc., would enhance the readability and professionalism of your response.
grammatical range accuracy
Try to avoid occasional awkward phrasing and maintain grammatical consistency throughout your essay. Phrases like 'In a couple of galleries, we could also meet the artist and becoma a meet and greet reunion location for art enthusiast' could be structured more clearly.
task achievement
Ensure that each main point is clearly supported with relevant and specific examples. For instance, the use of examples could be more specific and rich in detail concerning the unique advantages of physical galleries.
introduction
Your introduction clearly states your stance and provides a good foundation for your arguments.
paragraph coherence
The essay is well-organized, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct point. This approach aids in establishing a logical flow.
task response
You effectively differentiate the unique experiences and benefits offered by physical museums and galleries as compared to virtual exhibitions, which supports your argument.
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