More and more people in developing countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problems does this cause? What do you think is a possible solution?

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Nowadays, some individuals are buying vehicles for the first time in developed nations. It is obvious that it will increase

air

Use synonyms

pollution and traffic jams. It is better to execute some civilization projects,

such

Linking Words

as underground trains. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I shall elaborate on the issues and discuss how we can solve them.

Firstly

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, if we allow people to buy new cars, it will decrease

air

Use synonyms

quality.

In other words

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, private transportation systems will increase

air

Use synonyms

pollution in terms of huge amounts of vehicles.

Secondly

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it is clear that

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it will enhance traffic jams, since drivers tend to use their own cars in terms of convenience. So, it would be frustrating for residents.

For example

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, in the USA, most parents prefer to pick up their children

Change preposition

show examples

their automobiles, as it would be more comfortable and faster than other options.

On the other hand

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, we have to focus on public transportation,

such

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as metro or electric buses. It is vital to improve

this

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system practically by financial investment.

Also

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, it is necessary to fulfil projects which can be able to enhance

air

Use synonyms

indexes.

Moreover

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, it is crucial to teach people how they will be able to reach their destinations through a self-transportation system.

For instance

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, in India, most students would like to use the subway

due to

Linking Words

promotions that have been announced by the government. In conclusion, it is essential to concentrate on the development of public transportation,

such

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as buses or metro, by investment.

Also

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, it would be profitable if we decreased the number of cars

due to

Linking Words

air

Use synonyms

-quality management, and traffic monitoring.

Submitted by ali.pazoki72 on Wed Jul 31 2024

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task achievement

While your task response is adequate and addresses the topic, try to further develop and elaborate on your main points and ideas. This will add depth and enhance the overall response.

task achievement

Ensure all your examples are directly relevant to the points you are making. The example about the USA could be more closely tied to traffic jam issues.

coherence cohesion

Work on making your ideas and paragraphs flow more coherently. Use transitional phrases to link points and create a smoother reading experience.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction clearly states the problem and possible solution, setting a clear framework for the essay.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion effectively summarizes the essay and reiterates the importance of investing in public transportation.

task achievement

You provided specific examples, such as the USA and India, to support your points which adds to the essay's relevance and detail.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

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