Some people believe that children of all ages should have extra responsibilities. Others believe that, outside of the school, should be free to enjoy ife. Discuss both views and give yours?

Nowadays, there is a controversy among society members regarding imposing extra responsibilities on youngsters.
Although
some claim that
children
should be involved in more responsibilities, many insist on the primacy of entertainment out of the school. I hold the latter view strongly as it is more practical. Proponents of prioritizing recreation opine that it is of great significance to provide youngsters with a chance to experience a happy life in their childhood for more productivity. It is
due to
the fact that recreational activities like various plays are capable of giving them more creativity and innovation conducive to more efficiency at school
as well as
boosting some skills in real life
such
as problem-solving and decision-making skills.
Hence
, resorting to
such
an approach can be considered beneficial for both
children
and the education system. I tend to adopt a strong stance in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
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of the mentioned point of view. Dedicating time to joyful activities and less mental involvement are associated with maintaining mental health.
Children
need some past-time pursuits to get a well-rounded perspective regarding their goals and talents
this
cannot be achieved unless with mental health. In stark contrast, opponents of fewer involvements posit that shouldering more burden is highly likely to pave the way for
children
to have more achievements and promotion.
For instance
, some parents register their young
in particular
institutes where they are obliged to do extracurricular activities in order to prepare them for better professional pursuits.
However
, I find myself in disagreement with them as not only does compulsory go in negative parallel with their aim but
also
it can prone
children
to some psychological ailments ranging from anxiety to depression. To capitulate, it can be deduced that the more joy pupils experience, the more productivity they might have.
However
, it cannot be denied that responsibilities that suit their age can push them toward success.
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task response
Strengthen the introduction by clearly stating both views before presenting your own opinion. This will make your stance clearer from the beginning.
task response
Ensure each main point is fully developed with specific examples and explanations. This will add depth and clarity to your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Use a clear topic sentence at the beginning of each body paragraph to guide the reader through your points more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Although transitions are present, make sure they reinforce the logical flow between ideas in your essay to improve overall coherence.
task response
Your essay provides a comprehensive discussion on both sides of the argument, which is excellent for task achievement.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is clear, and the main points are supported well with explanations.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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