IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Our local hospital has advertised people to do unpaid work helping at the hospital. You would like to do some work at the hospital in your free time. Write a letter to the hospital. In your letter •explain why you would like to do unpaid work at the hospital •say what type of unpaid work you would be able to do •give details of when you would be available for this work

#people #work #time #•explain #•say #type #•give
Dear sir/madam. I have seen the advertisement about your search for volunteers for our hospital on Facebook. First of all, I have to say that it’s a great idea to offer people to help the hospital
at
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in
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 their free time. I believe
,
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apply
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 all of us have to help to neighbourhood for the best quality of life.
Moreover
, teens would have an opportunity to get their
volunteers
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volunteer
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 hours helping people. I’m
the
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a
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 foreign nurse without
Canadian
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a Canadian
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 licence, and I’ll be very glad to help
in
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with
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 any kind of work you need, I’m not afraid of work. I am absolutely free on Tuesday and Wednesday, so I want to propose my support in
hospital
Correct article usage
the hospital
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in
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at
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suitable
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a suitable
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 time for you. Best regards, Anastassia.
Submitted by anastasia on

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grammar
There are a few grammatical and punctuation errors which could be improved for clearer communication. For example, 'offer people to help' could be rephrased to 'offer people the opportunity to help'.
tone
Your tone is warm and appropriate for a letter of this nature, which is great. However, make sure to double-check for any small mistakes or typos.
clarity
The purpose of your letter is clear and well-stated, showing your enthusiasm and willingness to help.
tone
Your closing is polite and includes a full name, adding a personal touch.
structure
Each paragraph has a single distinct idea, making the letter easy to follow.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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