A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #animals #rights #humans #food #research

There is no denying the fact that dealing with several kinds of

animals

is a significant issue and should be solved wisely .

While

it is a commonly held belief that

people

believe that

animals

should not be

expoilted

Correct your spelling

exploited

exported

people

and should have the same rights as all humans , there is

also

an argument that humans must employ

animals

to satisfy

from

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their goods

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and various needs .

This

essay will analyse

this

topic from both

point

Change to a plural noun

points

show examples

views

Fix the agreement mistake

view

show examples

and express my opinion . On one hand ,

animals

are efficient for our environment and should have the same rights as

people

In other words

, governments must impose

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

green taxes for violators , who harm

animals

and treat them in

inferior

Change the article

an inferior

show examples

way .

In addition

, our planet must treat

animals

convenient

Change the article

a convenient

show examples

way because they provide

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

beneficial needs and goods to our health ,

such

as milk and cheese .

For example

chinese

Change the capitalization

Chinese

show examples

and

korean

Change the capitalization

Korean

show examples

people

treat their

animals

comfortable

Change the article

a comfortable

show examples

way

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and allocate

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

them a safe shelter ,so

this

cause

Change the verb form

causes

show examples

them to be

an advanced and developed countries

Correct the article-noun agreement

an advanced and developed country

advanced and developed countries

show examples

On the other hand

animals

such

as elephants and

sheeps

Correct your spelling

sheep

show examples

are a major factor in any farms or factories ,

for example

, in recent centuries

animals

were forced to construct

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

huge buildings and towers like pyramids .

Moreover

animals

have a vital impact on environmental growth in the majority of countries .

For instance

, countries

such

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

somalia

Change the capitalization

Somalia

show examples

and

sudan

Change the capitalization

Sudan

show examples

depend on

animals

in most of their

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

because they can not afford

an immense funds

Correct the article-noun agreement

immense funds

an immense fund

show examples

. In

conclusion

Add a comma

conclusion,

show examples

there

Change the verb form

are

show examples

no easy answers to

this

question . On balance ,

however

, I tend to believe that

animals

are critical for our

plant

Correct your spelling

planet

show examples

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because they can afford for us convenient and

accessibility

Replace the word

accessible

show examples

life .

Submitted by pcah70 on Wed Jul 31 2024

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clarification

Some sentences are unclear or awkwardly phrased. Ensure that your ideas are clearly expressed and consider revising for clarity.

examples

You have used relevant examples, but more specific and varied examples could enhance your argument. Aim for more precise and detailed examples to support your points.

grammar

There are some grammatical errors and awkward word choices. Careful proofreading and perhaps using a grammar-checking tool can help improve these minor issues.

structure

The essay presents a balanced view and considers both sides of the argument, which is essential for a well-rounded discussion.

comprehensive

The introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively summarize the main ideas of the essay.

logical flow

The essay demonstrates a good logical structure, leading the reader through the arguments and counterarguments effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

310 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Exploitation
Animal welfare
Ethical treatment
Vegetarianism
Veganism
Cognitive dissonance
Humane
Live stock
Cruelty-free
Bioethics
Conservation
Habitat preservation
Ecosystem
Biodiversity
Animal testing
Synthetic biology
Genetic engineering
Speciesism
Animal husbandry
Sustainable farming

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A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. Schools should cut subjects such as arts and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on subject such as information technology. To what extent do you agree?

As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factors contribute to job satisfaction for all workers? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?

Differences between countries become less evident each year. Nowadays, all over the world people share the same advertising, brands, eating habits and TV channels. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of these fashions

There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.

In some countries, students pay their college or university fees, while in some others, the government pays for them. Do the advantages of governments paying for fees outweigh the disadvantages?