IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In the past，many people had skills such as making their own clothes and doing repair to things in the house. In many countries, nowadays, skills like these are disappearing. Why do you think this change is happening? how far is this situation true in your county?

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Over the past few decades,
people
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 typically had
skills
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such
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 as tailoring clothes and maintaining their furniture at home.
However
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, in the contemporary era, these
skills
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 are gradually vanishing.
Therefore
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,
this
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 essay will explore the root causes of
this
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 phenomenon and shed light on whether
this
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 trend is present in Taiwan. There are several factors leading to the disappearance of
skills
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.
First,
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the development of technology plays a key role in
this
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 case, as it causes
people
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 to rely more on automatic appliances
instead
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 of doing tasks themselves.
Moreover
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, in today's fast-paced society,
people
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 are engaged in busy work schedules, leading to a lack of time to do chores. Even more importantly, compared to the past, modern
people
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 have a better standard of living;
therefore
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, when they encounter certain household issues, they are more likely to seek help from professionals or maintenance stores rather than struggle to fix items on their own.
This
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 phenomenon is
also
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 present in Taiwan, especially in big cities.
People
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 who live in a city are more inclined to pay to resolve household problems
such
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 as adjusting pants, installing pipes, and other relevant matters. They believe that these professionals and services provide more effective solutions to address a wide range of household issues.
However
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, it is undeniable that some
people
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 who live in remote or marginalized regions still rely on themselves to repair things, as they have limited resources and services. In conclusion, the phenomenon of the disappearance of
skills
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 results from diverse factors.
Furthermore
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,
this
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 trend
also
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 happens in most cities of Taiwan,
while
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 some rural areas still retain their techniques and transmit them from one generation to the next.

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task achievement
While the essay provides a clear and comprehensive response to the task, it can be strengthened by providing more specific examples and details to support the points made. For instance, mentioning specific advancements in technology or cultural shifts in Taiwan could add depth to the arguments.
coherence cohesion
To further enhance coherence, consider using more varied transition words and phrases. This can help to make the logical flow of the essay even smoother.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and well-structured introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the discussion.
task achievement
The writer has successfully addressed the two main parts of the task: explaining the reasons behind the disappearance of skills and discussing the situation in Taiwan.
task achievement
The ideas are communicated clearly and comprehensively, making it easy for the reader to follow the argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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