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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows the average number of visitors who went to six types of attractions in Canberra, on a weekday on the weekend, in 2019

The bar chart below shows the average number of visitors who went to six types of attractions in Canberra, on a weekday on the weekend, in 2019
#bar #visitors #six #attractions #canberra #weekday #weekend
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The provided bar chart illustrates how many
tourists
Use synonyms
 visited three
various
Correct word choice
apply
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spectacular
places
Use synonyms
 in
Canberra
Use synonyms
 at the weekend in 2019. A glance at the graph reveals that the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 who were Chinese tend to read
books
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 on holiday in
Canberra
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,the Chinese
tourists
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 did not prefer to visit
places
Use synonyms
 which had the least
number
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
visitors
Change preposition
of visitors
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 over the period. In 2019,the
number
Use synonyms
 of
hours
Use synonyms
 for reading
books
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 for Chinese people was considerably more than visiting
places
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
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8
hours
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 (which was the highest proportion of
hours
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 for
holiday
Fix the agreement mistake
holidays
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 over the period) and 1
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hours
Change to a singular noun
hour
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 (which was the least
number
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 of
hours
Use synonyms
 of attractions over the whole year),respectively.
Moreover
Linking Words
,Brazilian
tourists
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 chose to go
at
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to
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 the beach for 6
hours
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 at the weekend in
Canberra
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,just ahead of the people who liked to read
books
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 for 4
hours
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 in
Canberra
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 in 2019.
In addition
Linking Words
,reading
books
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 for
Amercian
Correct your spelling
American
visitors
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 was as popular as being at the beach for Turkish
tourists
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at
Change preposition
for
show examples
 5
hours
Use synonyms
 in
Canberra
Use synonyms
 in 2019.Surprisingly,the
number
Use synonyms
 of
hours
Use synonyms
 for visiting
places
Use synonyms
 for American
tourists
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 was completely the same as
Turkish
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for Turkish
show examples
visitors
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in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
3
hours
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in
Change preposition
during
show examples
 the weekend holiday in
Canberra
Use synonyms
 in 2019.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words tourists, places, canberra, number, visitors, books, hours with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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