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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people think that the increase in international travel has a negative impact on the environment and should be restricted. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #travel #impact #environment
There is no denying the fact that international
travel
 is something essential for our life system.
While
 it is a commonly held belief that raising of international travelling has a drawback effect on the
environment
 and should be limited. There is
also
 an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that the risk of international
travel
 has become crucial and we should find alternatives to mitigate that risk.
To begin
 with, The idea of an eco-friendly system could be a perceivable and practical solution to reduce the negative impact on the
environment
.
In other words
,
this
 use could be crucial for decreasing the damage that could happen to
our
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
nature.
In addition
, raising a high emission of CO2 gases could be dangerous and lead to disasters natural.
For example
, the UK shows a study that Proves increasing CO2 emissions could have a significant negative impact on the future
environment
. Another point to consider, governments and societies should play a crucial role in enhancing public awareness of other Perceivable options. It is
also
 possible to say that the importance of using other alternatives could be crucial for our health and mitigate the risk that occurs
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 international
travel
.
Moreover
, using a ship and metro system to
travel
 could be less harmful to our
environment
.
For instance
, China ran a campaign called"Best Alternative To Reduce International
Travel
" which encouraged people to avoid travelling or use eco-friendly systems. In conclusion, despite people having different views, I believe that people should be aware of finding other options to reduce their travelling.
Also
, governments should create better alternatives to encourage individuals to mitigate their own travelling.
Submitted by naif.waleead on

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your arguments and make them more concrete.
task achievement
Ensure that your ideas are clear and well-explained to enhance readability and comprehension.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs for better coherence.
coherence cohesion
Provide a clearer connection between the problem mentioned and the solutions proposed.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic well, presenting both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and effectively frame the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • carbon footprint
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • sustainable travel
  • eco-friendly
  • carbon emissions
  • habitat destruction
  • cultural dilution
  • overcrowding
  • resource depletion
  • sustainable
  • environmental impact
  • tourism ethics
  • green initiatives
  • conservation efforts
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