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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Computers are widely used in education and teachers now play a less important role in the classroom than ever before. Do you agree or disagree?

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With the development of technology, more and more programs functioned in the classroom took advantage of
computers
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 for
the
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apply
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educational purposes.
This
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 creates an intense debate about whether the role of the
teachers
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 has become less crucial or not. As for me, I strongly believe that
the
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electronic devices cannot replace
with
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apply
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the
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apply
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human's
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human
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job
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jobs
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 at schools because of their huge support in the orientation and
emtional
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emotional
 sectors.
To begin
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 with, the
teachers
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' jobs in the class include not only educating the pupils but
also
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 counselling them in different aspects of their direction in the future. In fact, only when they are attached to teaching in the class over the whole semester will they understand their students' strengths and weaknesses.
By
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In
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this
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 way, a lot of guidance can be given so as to help each young teenager have a broad view of their capabilities and assist them in choosing the potential universities.
Furthermore
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, when the students feel familiar with their
teachers
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, they will seek
for
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apply
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more mental health guidance, by which the unemotional
computers
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 are not able to do that. To be more specific, the youth sometimes
finds
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find
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 it hard to communicate with their parents about their
feeling
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feelings
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.
That is
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 why their favourite
teachers
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 trained in the psychology field will be their best choice.
Moreover
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, the sense of humour to create a lively
envionmental
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environmental
environment
studyas
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study as
 well as
the
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social skill coaching are one of the characteristics that
makes
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make
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the
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a
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 huge difference between
the
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computers
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 and
the
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apply
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educators. In conclusion, it is undeniable that in
this
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 modern era,
the
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computers
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 have become essential in our lives.
However
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, the roles of the
teachers
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 in the classrooms cannot be taken over as they still assist the pupils in developing their future roads and the emotional guidance during the whole semester.

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt well and provides a clear stance on the issue. However, you could enhance your argument by providing more specific examples and elaborating on how exactly teachers contribute to students' future orientation and emotional well-being.
coherence cohesion
While your ideas are organized logically, some sentences are awkwardly phrased. Ensure each paragraph flows smoothly by refining sentence structures for better readability. For example, "By this way" could be corrected to "In this way".
coherence cohesion
Be cautious of some minor grammatical errors and typos such as "envionmental" which should be "environmental," or "feeling" which should be "feelings." A thorough proofreading can help eliminate these issues.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, making it clear what your position is from the onset and summarizing your thoughts succinctly at the end.
task achievement
You effectively highlight the irreplaceable emotional and guidance roles that teachers play, which computers cannot substitute, reinforcing your argument convincingly.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital resources
  • personalized guidance
  • interactive learning
  • e-learning platforms
  • adaptive learning technologies
  • individualized learning
  • emotional support
  • motivation
  • social development
  • teamwork
  • emotional intelligence
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving skills
  • discussion
  • debate
  • real-time feedback
  • technological limitations
  • digital divide
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