Technological development in earlier times brought more changes to the life of ordinary people then recent technological development have brought? Do you agree or disagree?
There are concerns pertaining to earlier technological developments compared to recent ones. Some folks believe earlier technological breakthroughs revolutionized the lives of humans compared with recent technological
discoveries
. I agree with this
ascertion
.
Correct your spelling
assertion
To begin
with, invention
of telephones, television and cars drastically caused Add an article
the invention
an invention
globalisation
of the world. These appliances have improved communication as it has made it possible for people living in different parts of the world Correct article usage
the globalisation
communicate
at their own convenience and within seconds to minutes Fix the infinitive
to communicate
instead
of having to wait for several months to deliver and receive information from a loved one. For instance
, during the stone age
periods, the means of communication used were not reliable or took really long, like sending letters through birds Correct your spelling
Stone Age
such
as doves or having to post letters. There were instances where recipients reported to
never receiving Change preposition
apply
such
letters.
To add to the above, transport systems have made commuting from one place to another very easy. This
has made it possible for a person living in a town that is
several kilometers
away to take up Change the spelling
kilometres
well paying
jobs at better places and still be able to make it to work and back home Add a hyphen
well-paying
everyday
. It is common knowledge that the primitive generation Replace the word
every day
were
limited in terms of where they could work or even took several months to cover distances using animals or by walking. Change the verb form
was
Such
,
has been overcome by better means of transport that still cover these same distances in hours. There Remove the comma
apply
has
been several testimonies about Change the verb form
have
this
.
Despite the positive notes quoted regarding technological advancements, in recent times, there has
been some mishappenings with current Correct subject-verb agreement
have
discoveries
. The glaringly harmful one is invention
of guns. Add an article
the invention
an invention
This
,
has led to the loss of many innocent lives. Undoubtedly, the remarkable Remove the comma
apply
potentials
Fix the agreement mistake
potential
such
victims may have had but
was truncated because of their untimely demise in a way negatively impacts Correct word choice
apply
on
society. Surviving persons live in fear and anguish of not knowing if someone by take their lives prematurely in the name of civilians being allowed to own guns in certain countries. It is obvious guns have done more harm than good to humanity.
Change preposition
apply
To conclude
, technology has some positive impacts on society but this
is especially true for the initial discoveries
compared to the gross negative impact some later discoveries
have had on the globe. I totally agree with this
.Submitted by nmaureen03 on
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Task Achievement
Ensure a clear thesis statement in your introduction to directly address the question. While your stance is evident, explicitly stating it strengthens your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
To improve coherence, vary your connective devices more to smoothly link ideas and paragraphs. This will make the flow of your essay more natural.
Task Achievement
Aim to explore the contrasting views more deeply to enrich your discussion. Acknowledging and refuting opposing arguments can enhance the depth of your analysis.
Task Achievement
Your use of specific examples to support your arguments is commendable. They effectively illustrate your points and strengthen your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarises your viewpoint and the key points discussed, reinforcing your stance. This clarity is a strong suit of your essay.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example