Technological development in earlier times brought more changes to the life of ordinary people then recent technological development have brought? Do you agree or disagree?

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There are concerns pertaining to earlier technological developments compared to recent ones. Some folks believe earlier technological breakthroughs revolutionized the lives of humans compared with recent technological
discoveries
. I agree with
this
ascertion
Correct your spelling
assertion
.
To begin
with,
invention
Add an article
the invention
an invention
show examples
of telephones, television and cars drastically caused
globalisation
Correct article usage
the globalisation
show examples
of the world. These appliances have improved communication as it has made it possible for people living in different parts of the world
communicate
Fix the infinitive
to communicate
show examples
at their own convenience and within seconds to minutes
instead
of having to wait for several months to deliver and receive information from a loved one.
For instance
, during the
stone age
Correct your spelling
Stone Age
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periods, the means of communication used were not reliable or took really long, like sending letters through birds
such
as doves or having to post letters. There were instances where recipients reported
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
never receiving
such
letters. To add to the above, transport systems have made commuting from one place to another very easy.
This
has made it possible for a person living in a town
that is
several
kilometers
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kilometres
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away to take up
well paying
Add a hyphen
well-paying
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jobs at better places and still be able to make it to work and back home
everyday
Replace the word
every day
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. It is common knowledge that the primitive generation
were
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was
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limited in terms of where they could work or even took several months to cover distances using animals or by walking.
Such
,
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apply
show examples
has been overcome by better means of transport that still cover these same distances in hours. There
has
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have
show examples
been several testimonies about
this
. Despite the positive notes quoted regarding technological advancements, in recent times, there
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
been some mishappenings with current
discoveries
. The glaringly harmful one is
invention
Add an article
the invention
an invention
show examples
of guns.
This
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
has led to the loss of many innocent lives. Undoubtedly, the remarkable
potentials
Fix the agreement mistake
potential
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such
victims may have had
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
was truncated because of their untimely demise in a way negatively impacts
on
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apply
show examples
society. Surviving persons live in fear and anguish of not knowing if someone by take their lives prematurely in the name of civilians being allowed to own guns in certain countries. It is obvious guns have done more harm than good to humanity.
To conclude
, technology has some positive impacts on society but
this
is especially true for the initial
discoveries
compared to the gross negative impact some later
discoveries
have had on the globe. I totally agree with
this
.
Submitted by nmaureen03 on

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Task Achievement
Ensure a clear thesis statement in your introduction to directly address the question. While your stance is evident, explicitly stating it strengthens your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
To improve coherence, vary your connective devices more to smoothly link ideas and paragraphs. This will make the flow of your essay more natural.
Task Achievement
Aim to explore the contrasting views more deeply to enrich your discussion. Acknowledging and refuting opposing arguments can enhance the depth of your analysis.
Task Achievement
Your use of specific examples to support your arguments is commendable. They effectively illustrate your points and strengthen your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarises your viewpoint and the key points discussed, reinforcing your stance. This clarity is a strong suit of your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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