People want to buy famous brands of clothes, cars and other items. Reason? Is it positive and negative?
The sales of branded wardrobes,
cars
and other items
have been increasing over the period due to
the spread of advertising as well as
offered quality
. Although
branded clothes
, cars
or other things
affect the sales of local products
, their quality
and the comfort they provide to people
are also
important. Therefore
people
choose fashionable clothes
.
Nowadays, people
are becoming fashion lovers and they want to look fashionable. That is
why, they prefer to pick out markable clothes
, cars
and other items
. For example
, if we buy Nike brand clothes
or Mersedec-benz brand cars
, they offer customers not only comfort and quality
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
luxury and fashion styles. In addition
, people
who love fashion, always want to purchase the latest versions of things
. In my view, everyone always wants to buy good quality
things
and they try to achieve this
, so branded thins always stay in the pick.
However
, some people
considered
that buying markable Wrong verb form
consider
clothes
, cars
or other items
affect
decreased sales of local Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
products
. Although
the impact of the local business, it protects the population of the country from the monopoly. If people
do not purchase branded things
at all, such
as clothes
, cars
or other things
, the local businessman
will increase the monopoly for their bad Fix the agreement mistake
businessmen
quality
goods. It is banned for people
to buy other branded types of goods rather than local products
.
In conclusion, It is good for the community to buy branded items
not only because of their advertising and good elements but also
because they provide people
with comfort and fashionable style. The sale of such
products
protects the country from the monopoly of local goods.Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on
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introduction
Your introduction sets the stage for the essay but could be more explicit in outlining the main points you will discuss. Consider adding a sentence summarizing your key arguments.
cohesion
The essay demonstrates a decent flow from one point to the next, but some ideas could be linked more cohesively. Use more linking words and phrases to improve the flow of arguments and paragraphs.
coherence
Some sentences could be rephrased for clarity and readability. For example, 'Although the impact of the local business, it protects the population of the country from the monopoly' could be clearer as 'While branded items impact local businesses, they help prevent monopolies.
task response
Your task response is generally strong, but ensure you address both sides of the argument equally. While you discussed both the positives and negatives, there was a slight leaning toward the advantages of branded items.
examples
The essay provides relevant and specific examples which reinforce your points effectively, such as mentioning Nike and Mercedes-Benz.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of the essay, reinforcing your opinion.
task response
The essay clearly comprehends the task and responds to it effectively, addressing both the causes of preference for branded items and their positive and negative impacts.