It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement ?

Saving
money
is a popular acknowledged principle in society and a cornerstone
in
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of
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financial stability. In my view, I strongly agree with the statement that accumulating wealth for people’s
future
is essential for all individuals, regardless of their age. The first reason why saving
money
is a good choice for everybody is because it can help enable them to have financial security in the
future
. By economising
as well as
reducing unnecessary expenditure, they can minimise unforeseen circumstances like suffering from a health problem and
also
become more prepared for their current or
future
necessity
such
as buying a home, holding a wedding, and purchasing a vehicle. The fact that some people face a financial problem, which can
therefore
cause a destructive impact
to
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on
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their
life
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lives
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, proves the importance of financial stability cannot be overlooked. The second argument in favour of dedicating
money
to savings is that it can allow individuals to develop a positive financial mindset which is very beneficial for their
future
.
Although
it feels challenging at the beginning, there are numerous valuable lessons they can learn and apply if they take the process seriously,
along with
exploring new opportunities related to financial development,
for
instance
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instance,
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investment and
money
management.
Furthermore
, saving
money
also
can make human beings wiser in spending
money
, encouraging them to prioritise needs before wants.
Thus
, it can clearly be seen that a habit of saving from an early stage will be very useful for their
future
, specifically having a good financial mindset.
To sum up
, saving
money
not only allows humans to obtain financial stability but
also
develop
Correct subject-verb agreement
develops
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a
Remove the article
apply
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positive financial thinking. Considering its advantages, I remain firmly convinced that society, including young people, should save
money
for their
future
.
Submitted by karelrenaldi8 on

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task achievement
While the essay is logically structured and flows well, including more specific examples would reinforce your arguments and make them more relatable.
coherence cohesion
Ensure all sentences are fully developed and avoid any minor grammatical mistakes, such as "a popular acknowledged principle" which could be better phrased as "a commonly acknowledged principle."
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively positioned, making the essay easy to follow.
task achievement
Points are well-supported with logical arguments, reflecting a clear understanding of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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