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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think colleges should provide knowledge and skills related to future career; others think the true function of colleges is to give access to knowledge for its own sake. Discuss both points of view about the functions of colleges.

#people #colleges #skills #future #career #function #access #sake #points #functions
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Improving
students
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'
knowledge
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has been
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 the most important function of a
university
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 degree, which gives them a foundation for their professional development.
While
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 some people believe that workplace skills should be acquired during the graduation process, others trust that graduates can only focus on the theoretical aspects of the courses. In my opinion, a
university
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's main purpose must be teaching the theory;
otherwise
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,
students
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 will be considered unprepared for their professional life.
Firstly
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, individuals who have enrolled in an academic course will normally complete it within four years, which can be highly demanding even for those who do not work.
For example
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, when companies are selecting new employees who have applied for a position, tests are required to demonstrate what they
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 learned at the
university
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 level.
Therefore
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, spending precious time developing professional skills during graduation is less significant than focusing on the theory of the courses.
On the other hand
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, colleges and universities are the places of
knowledge
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 delivery, which should impart academics regardless of their benefits to the job market.
Furthermore
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, universities should function as
knowledge
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centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
, where
students
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 can gain expertise in pursuing all branches of
knowledge
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. In conclusion, the
university
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 is the best place to acquire sufficient
knowledge
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 of specific careers. Many people argue that
students
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 should acquire workplace skills during their courses;
however
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, doing so could actually make them unprepared for the future.
Submitted by chartakinnovation on

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task achievement
Your essay responds to both points of view mentioned in the prompt and provides your opinion. However, you need to develop your ideas further by explaining how and why each aspect you mention supports your argument. Provide more examples and elaborate on each point.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion that reinforce your argument. However, the logical flow between some paragraphs and ideas can be improved. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, and try to avoid sudden jumps in ideas.
task achievement
The essay stays on-topic and addresses both perspectives as per the prompt.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the essay's stance and gives a clear, final opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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