Many people around the world spend the majority of their free time at home watching TV shows. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this situation?

Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
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of people around the world waste their free time by spending it at home and watching
TV
shows.
In
Change preposition
This
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this
essay will cover the advantages and disadvantages of
this
controversial situation and my personal opinion will
finally
be given. One major advantage is that
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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will be in touch with
world
Add an article
the world
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.
For example
,
in
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apply
show examples
television shows news on news channels, where
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
can see what happening in the world. Another benefit is that humans can learn new.
For instance
, there are many
TV
programs
where
Correct word choice
that
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explain how to cook, sew, dance
and
Correct word choice
apply
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et cetera. Thanks to
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
programs, everyone can discover something new for them without leaving home.
The
Correct article usage
Last
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last
but not least, seat at
house
Add an article
the house
show examples
and
watch
Wrong verb form
watching
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cable can be a form of
relaxing
Replace the word
relaxation
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or entertainment.
To give
Verb problem
For
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an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
instance, there are several programs with meditation, that could help to forget about difficult
day
Fix the agreement mistake
days
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.
On the other hand
, it could be a waste of time.
For example
,
due to
the fact people just
seat
Verb problem
sit
show examples
at house and watch
TV
they start procrastinating.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
Meanwhile,
show examples
humans do it,
Correct word choice
and another
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another
Correct quantifier usage
other
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individuals work hard and do sport.
Also
, despite to benefits, it could be harmful
for
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to
show examples
body
Add an article
the body
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.
For instance
, because of blue light from cable
humans
Fix the agreement mistake
human
show examples
eyesight is deteriorating. If
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
do not care
of
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for
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themselves,
then
health problems can get bigger and worsen in the future. Having
upsides
Correct article usage
the upsides
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and downsides of the issue considered, I strongly believe that
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
the majority of
free
Correct pronoun usage
my free
show examples
time at home watching
TV
shows
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
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not deserve any change to be
good
Change the article
a good
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idea. By doing
this
, people
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
planet miss half of their lives.
Submitted by bellovanina97 on

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task response
Your essay provides a clear response to the task and covers both advantages and disadvantages as required. However, some points could be expanded and explored in more detail to strengthen your argument. Additionally, there are some grammatical errors and awkward phrases that can disrupt the flow and clarity of your essay. Focusing on sentence structure and grammar would improve readability.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. Each paragraph addresses a specific point which helps in understanding your argument. However, the transition between some points could be smoother, and some ideas could be better developed. Working on coherence and ensuring each point is well-connected will enhance the overall quality of your essay.
task response
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, and the essay is structured logically. Your points are relevant to the topic, which demonstrates good understanding of the task requirements.
supporting main points
You provide specific examples to support your points, which helps in illustrating your arguments. This is a positive aspect of your essay and shows your ability to use relevant examples effectively.
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