Many people around the world spend the majority of their free time at home watching TV shows. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this situation?
Majority
of people around the world waste their free time by spending it at home and watching Correct article usage
The majority
TV
shows. In
Change preposition
This
this
essay will cover the advantages and disadvantages of this
controversial situation and my personal opinion will finally
be given.
One major advantage is that human
will be in touch with Fix the agreement mistake
humans
world
. Add an article
the world
For example
, in
television shows news on news channels, where Change preposition
apply
person
can see what happening in the world. Another benefit is that humans can learn new. Fix the agreement mistake
people
For instance
, there are many TV
programs where
explain how to cook, sew, dance Correct word choice
that
and
et cetera. Thanks to Correct word choice
apply
this
programs, everyone can discover something new for them without leaving home. Correct determiner usage
these
The
Correct article usage
Last
last
but not least, seat at house
and Add an article
the house
watch
cable can be a form of Wrong verb form
watching
relaxing
or entertainment. Replace the word
relaxation
To give
Verb problem
For
an
instance, there are several programs with meditation, that could help to forget about difficult Correct article usage
apply
day
.
Fix the agreement mistake
days
On the other hand
, it could be a waste of time. For example
, due to
the fact people just seat
at house and watch Verb problem
sit
TV
they start procrastinating. Meanwhile
humans do it, Add a comma
Meanwhile,
Correct word choice
and another
another
individuals work hard and do sport. Correct quantifier usage
other
Also
, despite to benefits, it could be harmful for
Change the preposition
to
body
. Add an article
the body
For instance
, because of blue light from cable humans
eyesight is deteriorating. If Fix the agreement mistake
human
persons
do not care Replace the word
people
of
themselves, Change preposition
for
then
health problems can get bigger and worsen in the future.
Having upsides
and downsides of the issue considered, I strongly believe that Correct article usage
the upsides
spend
the majority of Wrong verb form
spending
free
time at home watching Correct pronoun usage
my free
TV
shows do
not deserve any change to be Correct subject-verb agreement
does
good
idea. By doing Change the article
a good
this
, people of
Change preposition
on
this
planet miss half of their lives.Submitted by bellovanina97 on
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task response
Your essay provides a clear response to the task and covers both advantages and disadvantages as required. However, some points could be expanded and explored in more detail to strengthen your argument. Additionally, there are some grammatical errors and awkward phrases that can disrupt the flow and clarity of your essay. Focusing on sentence structure and grammar would improve readability.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. Each paragraph addresses a specific point which helps in understanding your argument. However, the transition between some points could be smoother, and some ideas could be better developed. Working on coherence and ensuring each point is well-connected will enhance the overall quality of your essay.
task response
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, and the essay is structured logically. Your points are relevant to the topic, which demonstrates good understanding of the task requirements.
supporting main points
You provide specific examples to support your points, which helps in illustrating your arguments. This is a positive aspect of your essay and shows your ability to use relevant examples effectively.