Many people around the world spend the majority of their free time at home watching TV shows. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this situation?

#people #world #majority #time #home #tv #situation

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Majority

Correct article usage

The majority

show examples

of people around the world waste their free time by spending it at home and watching

shows.

Change preposition

This

show examples

this

essay will cover the advantages and disadvantages of

this

controversial situation and my personal opinion will

finally

be given. One major advantage is that

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

will be in touch with

world

Add an article

the world

show examples

For example

Change preposition

apply

show examples

television shows news on news channels, where

person

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

can see what happening in the world. Another benefit is that humans can learn new.

For instance

, there are many

programs

where

Correct word choice

that

show examples

explain how to cook, sew, dance

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

et cetera. Thanks to

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

programs, everyone can discover something new for them without leaving home.

The

Correct article usage

Last

show examples

last

but not least, seat at

house

Add an article

the house

show examples

and

watch

Wrong verb form

watching

show examples

cable can be a form of

relaxing

Replace the word

relaxation

show examples

or entertainment.

To give

Verb problem

For

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

instance, there are several programs with meditation, that could help to forget about difficult

day

Fix the agreement mistake

days

show examples

On the other hand

, it could be a waste of time.

For example

due to

the fact people just

seat

Verb problem

sit

show examples

at house and watch

they start procrastinating.

Meanwhile

Add a comma

Meanwhile,

show examples

humans do it,

Correct word choice

and another

show examples

another

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

individuals work hard and do sport.

Also

, despite to benefits, it could be harmful

for

Change the preposition

show examples

body

Add an article

the body

show examples

For instance

, because of blue light from cable

humans

Fix the agreement mistake

human

show examples

eyesight is deteriorating. If

persons

Replace the word

people

show examples

do not care

Change preposition

for

show examples

themselves,

then

health problems can get bigger and worsen in the future. Having

upsides

Correct article usage

the upsides

show examples

and downsides of the issue considered, I strongly believe that

spend

Wrong verb form

spending

show examples

the majority of

free

Correct pronoun usage

my free

show examples

time at home watching

shows

Correct subject-verb agreement

does

show examples

not deserve any change to be

good

Change the article

a good

show examples

idea. By doing

this

, people

Change preposition

show examples

this

planet miss half of their lives.

Submitted by bellovanina97 on Fri Aug 02 2024

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task response

Your essay provides a clear response to the task and covers both advantages and disadvantages as required. However, some points could be expanded and explored in more detail to strengthen your argument. Additionally, there are some grammatical errors and awkward phrases that can disrupt the flow and clarity of your essay. Focusing on sentence structure and grammar would improve readability.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. Each paragraph addresses a specific point which helps in understanding your argument. However, the transition between some points could be smoother, and some ideas could be better developed. Working on coherence and ensuring each point is well-connected will enhance the overall quality of your essay.

task response

You have a clear introduction and conclusion, and the essay is structured logically. Your points are relevant to the topic, which demonstrates good understanding of the task requirements.

supporting main points

You provide specific examples to support your points, which helps in illustrating your arguments. This is a positive aspect of your essay and shows your ability to use relevant examples effectively.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

269 words

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