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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

+ TABLE CHILDREN The chart and table below show the average number of children born to one woman and the average age of women when they had their first child in two countries between 1920 and 2019.

+ TABLE CHILDREN The chart and table below show the average number of children born to one woman and the average age of women when they had their first child in two countries between 1920 and 2019.
#children #show #woman #age #women #first #child #two #countries
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This
Linking Words
 line graph illustrates the information about
therate
Correct your spelling
the
 number of children born to one woman.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the table depicts the range of age at which mothers have their first child.
This
Linking Words
 information was registered between 1920-2019 in two countries
UK
Use synonyms
 and
Kazakhstan
Use synonyms
. As an initial overview, the average age of first child in
Kazakhstan
Use synonyms
 is lower than
UK
Use synonyms
 among all
years
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, as it started in 1920 with 23.5
years
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 old and 26.5
years
Use synonyms
 old in
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
,
additionally
Linking Words
 that
differences
Fix the agreement mistake
difference
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 ongoing even
2019
Change preposition
in 2019
show examples
. Not only is
this
Linking Words
 point clear,
there
Correct word choice
but there
show examples
 are slight
increasing
Replace the word
increase
show examples
 in the age across
years
Use synonyms
 in
Kazakhstan
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, in
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 there
are falling
Wrong verb form
fell
show examples
 in 1980 by one year and returned to
rise
Correct article usage
a rise
show examples
 in 2000 with 28.5
years
Use synonyms
 old. A more details look at the line graph that, the number of children began with 2 children in
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 and around 3.5 in
Kazakhstan
Use synonyms
, and
this
Linking Words
 range increased slightly until reached the highest number in 1960 with around 2.8 in
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 and approximately 4.5 in
Kazakhstan
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.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, occurence a
sharpdecline
Correct your spelling
decline
 in
Use synonyms
Kazakhstan
Change noun form
Kazakhstan's
show examples
 ratio,
then
Linking Words
 both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
countries ranked
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 lowest range of numbers in 2019.
Submitted by sajdeenkhalaf on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words uk, kazakhstan, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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