IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case ? What can be done about this problems?

#spite #advances #agriculture #people #world #case
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It is hard to believe that in our time, with the availability of products and the development of market relations,
hunger
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 is still one of the main problems in the world. (I consider
this
Linking Words
 issue to be one of the most important topics nowadays) In my essay, I would like to mention several reasons
of
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for
show examples
this
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problem
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 and and suggest some possible solutions There are several reasons why many people still face the
problem
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 of
hunger
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 despite SIGNIFICANT improvements in agriculture. Apparently, poverty is one of the main causes of
hunger
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. Many people simply cannot afford to buy groceries
due to
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 a lack of income or
FOOD
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 resources. African countries can be considered as an example, as
due to
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 the large population the level of unemployment is
extrelly
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extremely
 high,
CONSEQUENTLY
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 , there are a lot of families suffering from
hunger
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. Another reason is political instability. Different global conflicts result in general political instability, which can disrupt
food
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 production and distribution, leading to
food
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 shortages. As an example, during a military conflict, the country's economy is DIVERSIFIED to a war NEEDS. Most of the budget is allocated to the army, which is why social funds suffer, and
then
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 farmers, markets and the population suffer RELATIVELY. Poverty can be addressed by implementing social safety nets,
such
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 as GOVERNMENTAL
food
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 assistance programs, which can help ensure access to
food
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 for the most vulnerable. Working to resolve conflicts and political issues is
also
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 important to ensure stability in
food
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 production and distribution.
To sum up
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, it is safe to say that everything can be solved, but the
problem
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 of
hunger
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 remains an important
problem
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of
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in
show examples
 society.
Submitted by samedovateacher on

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coherence and cohesion
Strengthen your introduction by clearly outlining the key points you'll discuss. This will provide a better roadmap for your essay.
task achievement
Clarify your arguments by elaborating more on how specific suggestions can address hunger. This will make your points more convincing.
task achievement
Pay attention to minor spelling errors and word choice (e.g., 'DIVERSIFIED' vs 'diverted', 'RELATIVELY' vs 'relatedly'). Accuracy in language use enhances clarity.
task achievement
The essay does a good job of focusing on poverty and political instability as key issues contributing to hunger. These points are relevant and help address the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized with clear main points and supporting examples. It flows logically from one point to another.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • inequality
  • distribution
  • access to resources
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • political factors
  • economic factors
  • agricultural practices
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • population growth
  • education
  • knowledge
  • food waste
What to do next:
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