The graph below shows the average monthly use of health club in Miami and Florida by all full-time members in 2017. The pie charts show the age profile of male and female members of this health club. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#health #club #miami #florida #members #show #age #profile #summaries #information #features #comparisons

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The two graphs represent the monthly gym usage and the proportion of its

members

Use synonyms

' age in Miami and Florida in 2017. The bar graph illustrates that from January to June, the average gradually increased, yet, it slowly started decreasing from July to December. The peak average of health club usage was in June with an estimation of 850 male

members

Use synonyms

and 700 female

members

Use synonyms

. The lowest usage was in February, which had only 500 female

members

Use synonyms

and 550 male

members

Use synonyms

. The pie charts show that 55% of male

members

Use synonyms

were between the ages of 21 and 45. A quarter of it were elderly people and one-fifth of it were teenagers, who were below 21. As for the female

members

Use synonyms

, half of them were between the ages of 21 and 45 and 31% of them were above the age of 65.

Additionally

Linking Words

, there were 19% of female

members

Use synonyms

that were below the age of 21.

To sum up

Linking Words

, the majority of the health club memberships were male adults.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the average of male adults using the health club was always higher than the number of female

members

Use synonyms

every month.

Submitted by riani.the2 on Sat Aug 03 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words members with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 2 times.

▼

3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

188 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
A person's worth nowadays seems to judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned value, such as honour, kindness, and trust no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
More and more of people consider that the better way arg find these news are from the newspapers. However, other argue that social media is the best exporter for tidings. In my opinion, I believe that both views are equally important.
4.5
band
Nowadays we are producing more and more rubbish. Why do you think this is happening? What can governments do to help reduce the amount of rubbish produced? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
I think there are three reasons that increase the rubbish production nowadays. They are materialism, overly wrapped products and lowered cost of production.
7
band
Some people say history is one of the most important school subject. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is undoubtedly true that history has a vital role even in the modern world, however, some people opine that other fields such as scientific and technological knowledge seem to have more important features. I totally believe that this phenomenon is more likely to be trustworthy for some reasons.
6.5
band
Some of the methods used in advertising are unethical and unacceptable in today’s society. To what extent do you agree with this view?
Nowadays, using unethical practices in advertising is an arguable debate subject, and some people believe that they are unacceptable in our society. I firmly opine that several advertisements are used to manipulate people into buying new products, and they should be regulated to a certain extent to curb issues.
<4
band
Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now one big traffic jam. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using cars?
It is true nowadays vehicles belonging has greatly increased over the past 3 decades and caused a huge traffic congestion issue. Governments should take action to reduce vehicle belonging, such as making rule for vehicles belonging and develops more proper public transportation.

A person's worth nowadays seems to judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned value, such as honour, kindness, and trust no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays we are producing more and more rubbish. Why do you think this is happening? What can governments do to help reduce the amount of rubbish produced? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people say history is one of the most important school subject. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some of the methods used in advertising are unethical and unacceptable in today’s society. To what extent do you agree with this view?

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now one big traffic jam. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using cars?