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Band 7

The continued rise in the world's population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time. What are the causes of this continued rise? Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?

#rise #world #population #humanity #time
The
world
’s population has been increasing, and it is considered the greatest problem that humanity has ever experienced at present time. Since
world
wars
 do not happen, the population rate of the
world
 has been growing, and I think
this
 is the worst problem ever.
World
wars
 were the main reason for the decline of people’s living in the past twentieth century. The First and Second
World
Wars
 extremely caused huge mortality rates in the whole earth. As a lot of money and food were required for warfare, the other people could not eat enough food, and they died.
However
, after those
wars
 were ended and all resources were available for human living, the birth percentage started growing year by year for hundreds of years.
Consequently
, ending conflicts and bringing peace are the main reasons for the growth percentage. In recent decades, an increase of over eight billion people is the real worst issue for humanity. To be more clear, the reason overpopulation is an issue for many countries is that they demand many resources for living,
such
 as food, clothes, technologies, fossil fuels, and so on. To meet those needs, companies and manufacturers make a lot of products, so their factories significantly affect environmental problems,
for example
, global warming, melting icebergs, lack of water, etc .
To sum up
, having good living conditions and peace are the main causes of overpopulation, and I totally agree with the idea that the growth of the birth rate is the greatest problem.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task achievement
Develop your arguments with more specific and varied examples. For instance, you could mention how the growth in population affects different aspects of society or compare it with other problems humanity faces.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has one clear main idea. This will help you develop your arguments more thoroughly and prevent your essay from feeling disjointed.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which gives your essay a logical structure.
task achievement
Your ideas are relevant to the topic and you address both parts of the question, which shows a good understanding of the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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