Some people think technology development decreases crime, while others believe it actually encourages crime. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many today are of the belief that advances in technology have done more to combat, rather than aid, criminal
behavior
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behaviour
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. In my opinion,
although
there are certain novel avenues now available to criminals related to online fraud, technology generally benefits law enforcement. Those who argue
as to
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for
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the negative implications of technology on crime point out the increased prevalence of cybercrimes. These
crimes
range from online fraud and fishing schemes to political
crimes
and the selling of illicit substances. In the early stages of the internet,
such
crimes
were common online and difficult for enforcement agencies to combat. As advances have spread, both law enforcement agencies and criminals have become more
technologically-savvy
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technologically savvy
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. A clear example of
this
would be the occasional news article reporting on a large-scale theft of passwords that warns users to update passwords and be more wary of storing private information online.
However
, the
crimes
mentioned above are rare and technological innovations now help prevent many
crimes
before they even occur. The strongest instance illustrating
this
point would be the deterrence resulting from security
cameras
in private and public spaces. Countries and cities that emphasize the value of these
cameras
over personal privacy concerns are significantly safer than unmonitored locations. A more specific example of
this
would be
cameras
that take photos of individuals speeding and send them speeding tickets through the mail or electronically.
This
simple and effective innovation can greatly reduce traffic infractions and
as a result
the number of accidents on a given road. In conclusion, despite the marginal downsides related to
exploitation
Correct article usage
the exploitation
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of new technologies by a small percentage of total criminals, the deterrent effect of security
cameras
has made the world considerably safer. There is always a balance between safety and security that must be carefully maintained.
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coherence cohesion
Your essay is generally well-organized with an introduction and conclusion that clearly frame the discussion. However, try to present your main arguments more explicitly in the introduction to set clearer expectations for the reader.
task achievement
You have responded well to the task by discussing both views and giving your opinion. Ensure that each paragraph clearly elaborates on one main idea and avoid overly complex sentences that may obscure your point.
task achievement
While your examples are relevant, adding more specific instances or statistics, where applicable, would strengthen your arguments. Try to incorporate varied examples that illustrate your points in detail.
coherence cohesion
Your writing features a clear and logical structure which makes your arguments easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a well-defined introduction and conclusion that wrap up your discussion effectively.
task achievement
You address both sides of the argument and provide your own opinion, successfully completing the task requirements.
task achievement
The use of examples, such as security cameras and speeding ticket systems, effectively supports your arguments.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • deterrent
  • surveillance
  • forensic science
  • cybercrime
  • data theft
  • anonymity
  • illicit activities
  • law enforcement
  • jurisdictions
  • crime prevention
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