In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
In recent years, there has been a growing recognition of the popularity of migrating to urban
areas
, leading to the number of rural populations declining incredibly. From my standpoint, I gravitate toward those who believe this
is a positive trend. This
essay will expound upon this
by providing compelling reasons and practical examples.
On the one hand, it is undeniable that migrating to big cities
brings numerous advantages. Specifically, working is of decisive importance. In today’s world, most big companies are operating in urban areas
, leading to the requirement of a large number of workers. Thus
, it paves the way for ease of looking for lucrative career opportunities. An example relating to this
situation is Sai Gon, which is a city in Vietnam, that has the highest migrator numbers, as it is considered that Sai Gon is a place for golden job opportunities, meaning that it is simple to find jobs there.
On the other hand
, some people are of the opinion that it causes an imbalance in economic distribution, leading to discrimination between layers in this
complex society. However
, there are many methods which can be used to deal with this
problem. To be more precise, authorities could provide money which is received from workers’ personal income tax to the rural areas
to equally enhance the nationwide economy so that everyone can gain similar benefits. For instance
, in Vietnam, although
there are fewer people living in the countryside, things are not outdated, since the three biggest countries: Hanoi, Saigon, and Da Nang frequently fund money for other cities
to improve the infrastructure and culture.
In conclusion, although
several individuals have their own understandable arguments, I lean toward those who believe it is beneficial to the migrators to cities
, thanks to comfortably accessing job opportunities and supporting money to other areas
such
as the countryside by personal income tax of people working in big cities
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph contains a single main idea to improve clarity and coherence.
clarity
Avoid using overly complex sentences that may confuse the reader. Simple and clear sentences help maintain clarity.
task achievement
Provide more varied and specific examples to strengthen the argument. For instance, using statistics or personal anecdotes could help make the points more convincing.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the argument well.
supported main points
The main points are well supported with relevant examples, such as the example of Sai Gon in Vietnam.
complete response
The essay effectively addresses the task by discussing both the positive aspects of urban migration and the potential drawbacks.