Some people think that parents should be punished if their children commit crimes because they are responsible for their children's actions To what extent do you agree or disagree

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In recent times, there has been a frequently discussed issue of whether parents should punish their
children
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when they commit any mistakes, or whether they allow them to have freedom to deal with actions. I agree that
children
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must take opportunities to be responsible for themselves.
This
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essay will explore
this
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phenomenon in more detail,
supporting
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supported
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loy relevant examples. ‎‏
To begin
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with, critics argue that punishing
children
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can lead to both physical and psychological harm.
For instance
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, when parents enforce strict disciplinary measures,
such
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as physical punishment, it may not only harm the child's body but
also
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have long-lasting effects on their mental health. My friend Fatma,
for example
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, often resorts to harsh rules to discipline her
children
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.
While
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her intentions may be to teach them proper behaviour,
this
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approach risks causing emotional issues like anxiety, low self-esteem, or even depression. Research has shown that
such
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methods can undermine a child's sense of security and trust, leading to strained relationships and poor emotional well-being.
Conversely
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, exposing young people to various actions
,
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apply
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will definitely gain skills and experiences in life. For increase instance, a study conducted by Glasgow Univesity illustrates that 90% of
children
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gain some features
such
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as solving problems
due to
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their parent's behaviour.So, it accelerates a sense of confidence in their
children
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.
Furthermore
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, the benefits of allowing
children
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to have their own choices are not limited only to people but
also
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have a profound impact on society. A good example here is minimising societal violence which contributes to developing the communities.
As a result
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,
this
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may stimulate the living conditions. In conclusion,
while
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some argue that punishing Causes some negative consequences, enhancing a child's behaviour is crucial for people and Society. Governments and families have prioritized improving
children
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's lives.
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task achievement
While the main idea is presented, consider offering a more balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument in depth. This would demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the transitions between paragraphs and ideas are more seamless. This can be achieved by using linking phrases or words that guide the reader through the argument.
coherence cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion are present, which frame the essay effectively.
task achievement
The essay provides specific examples, like the mention of a real-life perspective from "my friend Fatma," making the argument more relatable.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Parental responsibility
  • Upbringing
  • Influence
  • Accountability
  • Ethically justifiable
  • Legal ramifications
  • Systemic issues
  • Community programs
  • Personal choice
  • Peer influence
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