Some people say that in the modern world, getting old is entirely bad. Others, however, say that life for the elderly nowadays is much better than it was in the past. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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However

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,some

people

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think that at

this

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particular time getting old is totally bad. Others say

life

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for the elderly is so much better than it was before. In my opinion, I completely agree that older

people

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have a much easier

life

Use synonyms

this

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era. On the one hand, many

people

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convinced

Add a missing verb

are convinced

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that getting old is really bad in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

modern

life

Use synonyms

In other words

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, ageing will prevent them from doing the thing they love. Football players

for example

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, when they reach the age of 30 becomes more difficult to keep up with younger players, so either they but more effort or they just retire.

Furthermore

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, getting old makes you more susceptible to serious diseases and

that is

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related to the weakness in

Add an article

the

show examples

immune system because of that old

people

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will rely on others to take care of them

such

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as the elderly home .

On the other hand

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, it is often believed that

life

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for elders is much better nowadays and I agree.As many

people

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think in

this

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era old

people

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can have an easy

life

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and

that is

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related to the development of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

technology and the improvement in medical experiences.

For instance

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, in the past when someone old

gets

Wrong verb form

got

show examples

sick they had nothing to do with him ,but nowadays there are better doctors and medicines.

Moreover

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, in

this

Linking Words

era old

people

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do not need to walk

Change preposition

apply

show examples

huge

distance

Fix the agreement mistake

distances

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to reach their destination and

that is

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because of the improvements in transportation

such

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as cars. In conclusion,

while

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people

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may

vare

Correct your spelling

vary

show examples

in their opinion I think that getting old is something that we can avoid, but

life

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is becoming easier for old

people

Use synonyms

dihmeSun Aug 04 2024

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task achievement

Your introduction should clearly outline both perspectives on the topic before stating your opinion. This will give a clear roadmap to your readers.

task achievement

Ensure that your arguments on both sides are balanced. You should provide equal weight to each perspective to address the 'discuss both views' aspect properly.

coherence cohesion

Focus on using cohesive devices like 'Firstly,' 'Moreover,' and 'However' to link your ideas more smoothly. This will improve the logical flow of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Make sure to refine your conclusion to reiterate both views before stating your final opinion clearly. It should not introduce new information but summarize your points effectively.

task achievement

You have provided relevant examples such as football players and medical advancements. These help illustrate your points effectively.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure with distinct paragraphs for each argument, which helps with readability.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

274 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

elderly
modern world
decline
physical
mental health
diseases
disabilities
social isolation
loneliness
access
healthcare
medications
lifelong learning
personal growth
social support
community engagement
positive aspects
negative aspects

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Some people say that in the modern world, getting old is entirely bad. Others, however, say that life for the elderly nowadays is much better than it was in the past. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

write a letter to a organizer of annual festival which is going to organize in your place. Give feedback for last year, mention what you can do and ask some question about festival

The tv and the internet provide opportunity to ordinary people to become famous.Is this a positive or a negative development?

Despite improvements in vehicle technology, there are still large numbers of road accidents. Explain some of the causes of this accidents, the suggest some measures that could be taken to address the problem.

Some people think that the government should provide free education at every level. However, some say that individuals should pay their university education.