Some people say that in the modern world, getting old is entirely bad. Others, however, say that life for the elderly nowadays is much better than it was in the past. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
However
,some people
think that at this
particular time getting old is totally bad. Others say life
for the elderly is so much better than it was before. In my opinion, I completely agree that older people
have a much easier life
in this
era.
On the one hand, many people
convinced
that getting old is really bad in Add a missing verb
are convinced
the
modern Correct article usage
apply
life
. In other words
, ageing will prevent them from doing the thing they love. Football players for example
, when they reach the age of 30 becomes more difficult to keep up with younger players, so either they but more effort or they just retire. Furthermore
, getting old makes you more susceptible to serious diseases and that is
related to the weakness inAdd an article
the
people
will rely on others to take care of them such
as the elderly home .
On the other hand
, it is often believed that life
for elders is much better nowadays and I agree.As many people
think in this
era old people
can have an easy life
and that is
related to the development of the
technology and the improvement in medical experiences. Correct article usage
apply
For instance
, in the past when someone old gets
sick they had nothing to do with him ,but nowadays there are better doctors and medicines.Wrong verb form
got
Moreover
, in this
era old people
do not need to walk in
huge Change preposition
apply
distance
to reach their destination and Fix the agreement mistake
distances
that is
because of the improvements in transportation such
as cars.
In conclusion, while
people
may vare
in their opinion I think that getting old is something that we can avoid, but Correct your spelling
vary
life
is becoming easier for old people
Submitted by dihme on
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task achievement
Your introduction should clearly outline both perspectives on the topic before stating your opinion. This will give a clear roadmap to your readers.
task achievement
Ensure that your arguments on both sides are balanced. You should provide equal weight to each perspective to address the 'discuss both views' aspect properly.
coherence cohesion
Focus on using cohesive devices like 'Firstly,' 'Moreover,' and 'However' to link your ideas more smoothly. This will improve the logical flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to refine your conclusion to reiterate both views before stating your final opinion clearly. It should not introduce new information but summarize your points effectively.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples such as football players and medical advancements. These help illustrate your points effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with distinct paragraphs for each argument, which helps with readability.