Nowadays famous players are followed by young adults some people think it's a positive trend and believe otherwise what do you think is it a positive or negative trend
In sports, many young adults are inspired by famous
players
to pursue their dreams Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
of
be
a professional Verb problem
becoming
Use synonyms
player
like their idols. Fix the agreement mistake
players
This
trend definitely will Linking Words
gives
positive impacts Verb problem
have
to
the youth, and can Change preposition
on
also
Linking Words
results
in some drawbacks.
The exposure Change the verb form
result
of
social media about famous Change preposition
to
players
has spurred the interest of young people to train like their role models. Use synonyms
For example
, a well-known Linking Words
football
Use synonyms
player
Kylian Use synonyms
Mbappe
was Use synonyms
inpired
by Christiano Ronaldo (CR7), one of the greatest of all time in Correct your spelling
inspired
football
history, which I have been witnessing too. When Use synonyms
Mbappe
was still Use synonyms
on
the training phase as a kid, he used to watch the footage of CR7's skills and dream Change preposition
in
to play
like him. He Change preposition
of playing
also
collected pictures and Linking Words
sticked
in his room, just to keep him motivated. Today, Correct your spelling
stickers
Mbappe
is now becoming the Use synonyms
highest paid
Add a hyphen
highest-paid
football
Use synonyms
player
Use synonyms
,
and Remove the comma
apply
also
joined Linking Words
to
Change preposition
apply
the
former club Change the word
their
his
her
of
CR7, Real Madrid. Change preposition
apply
This
phenomenon Linking Words
proofs
that dreaming to be like an idol will help the youths to succeed in their professional career.
Following famous Replace the word
proves
players
could be Use synonyms
also
a negative trend if the young Linking Words
Use synonyms
player
do not believe Fix the agreement mistake
players
on
their natural Change preposition
in
potentials
. I strongly believe that each individual has a unique character that differs from everyone else. In my opinion, Fix the agreement mistake
potential
although
Linking Words
Mbappe
dreamed Use synonyms
to be
like CR7, Change preposition
of being
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
Mbappe
is totally having different skills and styles in playing Use synonyms
football
. The young generation should be able to dig deeply into their true Use synonyms
potentials
and Fix the agreement mistake
potential
sharpening
it.
In summary, having role models in sports will help the next young Wrong verb form
sharpen
players
to stay motivated in achieving their Use synonyms
dream
. Fix the agreement mistake
dreams
However
, they should Linking Words
also
Linking Words
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
on
their own Change preposition
in
potentials
.Fix the agreement mistake
potential
Submitted by fakhruddinmasse on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Consider rephrasing some sentences to enhance clarity and flow. For example, 'This trend definitely will give positive impacts' could be rephrased as 'This trend definitely has positive impacts.'
task achievement
Work on making your conclusion stronger by briefly summarizing the main points discussed in the essay.
task achievement
The essay provides relevant examples, such as mentioning Kylian Mbappe and Cristiano Ronaldo, to support the main points.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
The writer shows a good understanding of the topic and presents both positive and negative aspects of the trend.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?