Nowadays famous players are followed by young adults some people think it's a positive trend and believe otherwise what do you think is it a positive or negative trend
In sports, many young adults are inspired by famous
players
to pursue their dreams to
Change preposition
of
be
a professional Verb problem
becoming
player
like their idols. Fix the agreement mistake
players
This
trend definitely will gives
positive impacts Verb problem
have
to
the youth, and can Change preposition
on
also
results
in some drawbacks.
The exposure Change the verb form
result
of
social media about famous Change preposition
to
players
has spurred the interest of young people to train like their role models. For example
, a well-known football
player
Kylian Mbappe
was inpired
by Christiano Ronaldo (CR7), one of the greatest of all time in Correct your spelling
inspired
football
history, which I have been witnessing too. When Mbappe
was still on
the training phase as a kid, he used to watch the footage of CR7's skills and dream Change preposition
in
to play
like him. He Change preposition
of playing
also
collected pictures and sticked
in his room, just to keep him motivated. Today, Correct your spelling
stickers
Mbappe
is now becoming the highest paid
Add a hyphen
highest-paid
football
player
,
and Remove the comma
apply
also
joined to
Change preposition
apply
the
former club Change the word
their
his
her
of
CR7, Real Madrid. Change preposition
apply
This
phenomenon proofs
that dreaming to be like an idol will help the youths to succeed in their professional career.
Following famous Replace the word
proves
players
could be also
a negative trend if the young player
do not believe Fix the agreement mistake
players
on
their natural Change preposition
in
potentials
. I strongly believe that each individual has a unique character that differs from everyone else. In my opinion, Fix the agreement mistake
potential
although
Mbappe
dreamed to be
like CR7, Change preposition
of being
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
Mbappe
is totally having different skills and styles in playing football
. The young generation should be able to dig deeply into their true potentials
and Fix the agreement mistake
potential
sharpening
it.
In summary, having role models in sports will help the next young Wrong verb form
sharpen
players
to stay motivated in achieving their dream
. Fix the agreement mistake
dreams
However
, they should also
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
on
their own Change preposition
in
potentials
.Fix the agreement mistake
potential
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coherence cohesion
Consider rephrasing some sentences to enhance clarity and flow. For example, 'This trend definitely will give positive impacts' could be rephrased as 'This trend definitely has positive impacts.'
task achievement
Work on making your conclusion stronger by briefly summarizing the main points discussed in the essay.
task achievement
The essay provides relevant examples, such as mentioning Kylian Mbappe and Cristiano Ronaldo, to support the main points.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
The writer shows a good understanding of the topic and presents both positive and negative aspects of the trend.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?