In some countries, university students live at home with their families while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?
Many
students
choose to study at the universities in their hometowns, while
others apply to move to another city for continuing education. It is a widely-held belief that relocating to study has more positive effects on students
due to
some reasons that will be discussed in this
essay.
Firstly
, the young generation learns to be independent by living away from their families while
studying. This
may bring about the development of more responsible characters. Also
, they become more self-supporting both emotionally and financially as they have to work to meet their needs. This
will lead them to be more assertive in every stage of their lives. In addition
, they may become more self-confident by living on their own as they have to overcome obstacles in their pathway. Thus
, they will believe in themselves more which will help them to become more successful not only in their education but also
in their personal and work life.
Admittedly, it seems that opting for a university to study away from the students
' hometowns may have some negative impacts on their spirits. They may develop separation anxiety and depression due to
loneliness. However
, it would appear that the positive effects outweigh the negative impacts due to
mentioned reasons.
To conclude
, it appears that there are more benefits for students
to live away from their families while
attending universities. This
decision will bring them independence, self-confidence, and self-esteem which are positive points for an individual's personality. However
, this
is not to say that everyone benefits from this
choice, but it appears to be the case very frequently.Submitted by TUTOO on
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language use
To further enhance your essay, consider incorporating a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely. This could help to make your arguments even more compelling and demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.
content
To strengthen your argument, you may also include more specific examples or brief anecdotes to illustrate your points more vividly. While your essay effectively addresses the topic, adding real-life examples can make your case more relatable and persuasive.
structure
Your essay provides a well-structured argument, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion that effectively guide the reader through your points.
argumentation
You have done well to argue both sides of the issue, acknowledging potential disadvantages while convincingly arguing that the advantages outweigh them. This balanced approach strengthens your essay.
content
Your focus on key personal developments, such as independence, self-confidence, and self-esteem, is particularly effective in highlighting the benefits of living away from home. These points are relevant and cogently argued.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
