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Writing Samples
Band 8

Food can be produced much more cheaply today because of improved fertilizer and better machinery. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this and give your opinion.

#food #fertilizer #machinery
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The advancement in agricultural
technology
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, including improved
fertilizers
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 and better machinery, has significantly reduced the cost of
food
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 production.
While
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 these innovations offer numerous benefits, they
also
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 present certain drawbacks that warrant consideration. Advantages:
Firstly
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, the reduction in production costs has led to lower
food
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 prices for consumers.
This
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 affordability enables a broader segment of the population to access a diverse range of nutritious foods, contributing to better
overall
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 public health.
Additionally
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, improved
fertilizers
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 and machinery enhance crop yields and efficiency, allowing for greater
food
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 security and the ability to support a growing global population.
Moreover
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, technological advancements in agriculture contribute to environmental sustainability. Modern machinery often results in more precise application of
fertilizers
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, reducing waste and minimizing the impact on surrounding ecosystems.
This
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 precision can help decrease the overuse of chemicals and mitigate soil degradation. Disadvantages:
On the other hand
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, the reliance on advanced
technology
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 and
fertilizers
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 can have negative environmental impacts. Excessive use of synthetic
fertilizers
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 can lead to soil depletion, water pollution, and the disruption of local ecosystems. The long-term effects of
such
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 practices may include reduced biodiversity and increased greenhouse gas emissions.
Furthermore
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, the shift towards high-tech farming can exacerbate inequalities within the agricultural sector. Small-scale farmers, who may lack access to modern equipment and
technology
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, could struggle to compete with larger, technologically advanced operations.
This
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 disparity can lead to economic challenges for smaller producers and potentially contribute to the consolidation of agricultural resources into the hands of a few large corporations. Opinion: In my view,
while
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 the advancements in agricultural
technology
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 have undoubtedly brought about significant benefits in terms of cost reduction and
food
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 accessibility, it is crucial to address the accompanying environmental and economic challenges. A balanced approach that incorporates sustainable practices and supports small-scale farmers can help ensure that the benefits of technological progress are shared more equitably. By prioritizing both innovation and environmental stewardship, we can achieve a more sustainable and inclusive
food
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 production system.
Submitted by chalermchartbsc on

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task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples or data to strengthen your arguments and illustrate the points more vividly. This can help in making your essay more compelling and relatable.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is well-structured, consider using more varied linking phrases. This will enhance the logical flow and cohesiveness of your essay.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced discussion of both advantages and disadvantages of improved agricultural technology. This shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured with a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the discussion effectively.
coherence cohesion
The use of linking words and phrases helps create a cohesive flow, making it easy for the reader to follow your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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