Children can learn effectively by simply watching television, therefore they should be allowed to do so to watch T.V. regularly at home and at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Children
have various ways of learning different stuff. Some are learned in school, others are taught by
parents
at home and some of the things
kids
learn are through watching
television
. Some people think that
children
should be allowed to watch shows on
television
at home and at school regularly.
However
, personally, young ones should have supervised and regulated time
where
Correct word choice
when
show examples
they can watch shows on TV. Nowadays, there are a lot of shows that
parents
can overlook as kid-friendly
due to
its animated nature.
However
, with the rise of animated shows that are
also
catered to adults,
parents
can never be too secure that
kids
are watching age-appropriate shows.
For example
, an animated show called "Hazbin Hotel" which is a show
that is
rated 16+ is a really popular show that has heaps of sexual innuendos and adult themes, if
children
are able to watch it through the
television
, they can be exposed to its adult themes which can be psychologically damaging to them. Another thing is that the majority of the shows that are catered to
kids
ha ve high visual and auditory stimulation which
also
have negative impacts
such
as diminishing cognitive abilities.
Lastly
, if
children
are watching
television
regularly both at home and at school,
this
may take away time from them to study or try to learn new things, which can result in
kids
being unproductive.
On the other hand
, watching different shows can have positive impacts.
Children
can watch shows that incorporate a different language, which will help
children
in picking up a secondary language.
For example
, Dora the Explorer incorporates basic Spanish words. Another benefit of watching
television
is developing communication skills and empathy as
children
listen and study how a character interacts with other characters. In conclusion, watching
television
has benefits
such
as
children
easily learning a different language other than their mother tongue and enhanced communication and empathy skills by observing how characters interact,
However
, they should not be allowed to regularly watch TV as it has some downsides to it
such
as some shows may have adult themes and watching visually stimulating shows can cause decreased cognitive ability.
Parents
should supervise and regulate the shows their
kids
are watching.
Submitted by estillorericamae on

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task achievement
While your essay presents a balanced view, some main points feel underdeveloped. Try to add more specific examples and elaborate on how watching TV can enhance communication skills and empathy.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is fairly logical, but some links between ideas can be strengthened. Make sure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Consider using more transitional phrases to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Revise and eliminate minor grammar and structural errors to ensure a polished final piece. Consider using varied sentence structures to enhance readability and engagement.
coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion which neatly frame your argument. This helps in establishing your main points early and summarizing them effectively at the end.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples, such as 'Hazbin Hotel' and 'Dora the Explorer', which help to clarify your points.

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