Children can learn effectively by simply watching television, therefore they should be allowed to do so to watch T.V. regularly at home and at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Children
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have various ways of learning different stuff. Some are learned in school, others are taught by
parents
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at home and some of the things
kids
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learn are through watching
television
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. Some people think that
children
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should be allowed to watch shows on
television
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at home and at school regularly.
However
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, personally, young ones should have supervised and regulated time
where
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when
show examples
they can watch shows on TV. Nowadays, there are a lot of shows that
parents
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can overlook as kid-friendly
due to
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its animated nature.
However
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, with the rise of animated shows that are
also
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catered to adults,
parents
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can never be too secure that
kids
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are watching age-appropriate shows.
For example
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, an animated show called "Hazbin Hotel" which is a show
that is
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rated 16+ is a really popular show that has heaps of sexual innuendos and adult themes, if
children
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are able to watch it through the
television
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, they can be exposed to its adult themes which can be psychologically damaging to them. Another thing is that the majority of the shows that are catered to
kids
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ha ve high visual and auditory stimulation which
also
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have negative impacts
such
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as diminishing cognitive abilities.
Lastly
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, if
children
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are watching
television
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regularly both at home and at school,
this
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may take away time from them to study or try to learn new things, which can result in
kids
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being unproductive.
On the other hand
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, watching different shows can have positive impacts.
Children
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can watch shows that incorporate a different language, which will help
children
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in picking up a secondary language.
For example
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, Dora the Explorer incorporates basic Spanish words. Another benefit of watching
television
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is developing communication skills and empathy as
children
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listen and study how a character interacts with other characters. In conclusion, watching
television
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has benefits
such
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as
children
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easily learning a different language other than their mother tongue and enhanced communication and empathy skills by observing how characters interact,
However
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, they should not be allowed to regularly watch TV as it has some downsides to it
such
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as some shows may have adult themes and watching visually stimulating shows can cause decreased cognitive ability.
Parents
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should supervise and regulate the shows their
kids
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are watching.
Submitted by estillorericamae on

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task achievement
While your essay presents a balanced view, some main points feel underdeveloped. Try to add more specific examples and elaborate on how watching TV can enhance communication skills and empathy.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is fairly logical, but some links between ideas can be strengthened. Make sure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Consider using more transitional phrases to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Revise and eliminate minor grammar and structural errors to ensure a polished final piece. Consider using varied sentence structures to enhance readability and engagement.
coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion which neatly frame your argument. This helps in establishing your main points early and summarizing them effectively at the end.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples, such as 'Hazbin Hotel' and 'Dora the Explorer', which help to clarify your points.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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