IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You want to join a gym. Write a letter to the gym manager. Include: • ask about membership • ask about the schedule • ask about the price

Dear
Gym
Use synonyms
 Manager, I am writing a letter to request
further
Linking Words
 information regarding your
gym
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. First of all, I want to know more details about the membership. As I knew that some sport centers are
also
Linking Words
 welcome guests who are not members. Is your
gym
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 only open for the members?
Secondly
Linking Words
, when is the
gym
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’s opening hours
.
Change the punctuation
?
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 Since I usually need to work from 4 p.m. to 11 p.m. on weekdays, I am worried that I may not have the time to go to the
gym
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
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, does your
gym
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 offer any
course
Fix the agreement mistake
courses
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, like yoga or professional weight training? Would I need to pay more fees for the class?
In addition
Linking Words
, if I want to be a member
in
Change preposition
of
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 the club, how much should I pay for a month?
Furthermore
Linking Words
, do you have any discount for people who
first time join as a
Correct word order
are joining the gym for the first time
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gym
Use synonyms
 member? I would appreciate it if you could reply to my questions and attach a schedule of the
gym
Use synonyms
’s courses. Thank you for your time. I look forward to your response. Kind regards, Jeff Yang

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task response
Task response: You answer all parts, but add one or two clear details for each question.
task response
Task response: Use a more direct ask for the price and class cost.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your letter is easy to follow, but some questions can be grouped more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Check small grammar links like 'what are the opening hours' to make ideas flow better.
task response
Task response: You ask about membership, schedule, and price, so you cover the task well.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The letter has a clear start, middle, and end.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your greeting and closing are polite and good for this letter.
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