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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Government should make people responsible for looking after their own local environment. Do ou agree or disagree?

#government #people #environment #ou
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In
this
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 contemporary epoch, environmental issues are hot discussion topics among
people
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. Part of society believes that taking care of the surroundings is the individual's responsibility
while
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 others do not agree and consider it as the
government
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's responsibility. I wholeheartedly agree that the regime should encourage local
people
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 to look after their surroundings.
To begin
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 with, the most predominant reason is that the executive has enormous other fields to take care of which are vital to be looked after for the development of the nation. Health and education sectors are the major responsibilities of the executives,
thus
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 the rulers do not have extra funds to spend on the environment.
Furthermore
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, it is the major duty of humans to keep their surroundings clean and hygienic to protect themselves from various pernicious diseases. Ultimately,
government
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 officials already have a very tight budget,
along with
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 the burden to render their services to various sections like looking after poverty-stricken
people
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, transportation amenities, and many more.
Therefore
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, the person must spend a little part of their earning towards society's welfare to live to healthy life. If the rulers start spending money to solve all the troubles in society, they might have to tackle another problem of taking debt from other nations.
To conclude
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, as per the matrimonials mentioned above, it is crystal clear that the
government
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 should leave the responsibility of maintaining a healthy and hygienic environment on the shoulders of local
people
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instead
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 of dealing with it because if the
government
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 becomes accountable for these the repercussions might be disruptive.
Submitted by ss6802125 on

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Task Achievement
To enhance your task achievement score, consider adding more varied and detailed examples to support your points. This would add depth to your arguments and further clarify your stance.
Coherence & Cohesion
While your essay has a clear logical structure, incorporating more connective phrases and transitions between ideas could strengthen the flow of your writing, making it more cohesive.
Introduction & Conclusion
You've done a great job of presenting a clear introduction and conclusion, expressing your argument succinctly and effectively.
Supported Main Points
Your main points are well supported and contribute to your overall argument, showing good understanding of the task requirements.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmental stewardship
  • sustainable
  • ecosystems
  • educational campaigns
  • environmental stewardship
  • pollution
  • recycling
  • waste disposal
  • tax breaks
  • subsidies
  • eco-friendly practices
  • mandatory
  • community service
  • infrastructure
  • individual accountability
  • lasting improvements
What to do next:
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