Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these view and give your own opinion.
In today's era, many believe that competence in the office, in academics and in our daily
lives
is beneficial, while
others opine that people should be more cooperative with each other rather than being competitive. This
essay will discuss both points and argue in the favour of latter.
To begin
with, competition
is crucial and beneficial up to a certain extent only. Many individuals in
today's modern world live their lives
with a sense of competition
in their mind throughout the day, moreover
, it can push a human being to achieve something important for that reason it is good to introduce competition
in certain fields such
as health care and engineering sector, where the candidates who have the best academics score are assigned critical and important task, whereas
individuals with average grades are provided with tasks which are less critical and does not impact the society if anything goes wrong.
However
, Introducing competition
in every aspect of life is a very disturbing factor. It can lead to a rise of certain emotions such
as jealousy, sadness and stress if a person is not able to perform well. Also
, in many cases, it has been seen that working professionals or students have committed suicide due to
losing a job or not performing well in exams . The prime example can be taken from a survey conducted in Asian countries where a number of competitive exams are held throughout the years and according to
the data students who are not able to clear those exams end up taking their lives
.
In conclusion, competition
is only beneficial in certain sectors of an economy, if it is introduced in an office or academics then
it is going to have detrimental effects on the individuals. Instead
of being competitive, it is better to be cooperative with others and live a
Correct article usage
apply
stress free
Add a hyphen
stress-free
lives
.Submitted by patelvaibhav1463 on
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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Use more linking words or phrases to guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
Ensure that all main points are consistently supported with relevant and detailed examples. You could strengthen your argument by adding more data or examples to illustrate your points more vividly.
task achievement
While the essay makes a solid case for both views, consider discussing potential counterarguments and addressing them to showcase a deep understanding of the topic.
task achievement
The introduction clearly sets up the essay and identifies both viewpoints, paving the way for a comprehensive discussion.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces the writer's opinion, ensuring a coherent end to the essay.
task achievement
The essay covers a range of relevant points about the benefits and drawbacks of competition, which demonstrates a thorough understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.